My In-Laws Are Upset About My Baby’s Gender and I Think They Have Gone Too Far
Becoming a parent is a joyous and transformative experience, one that brings excitement, anticipation, and sometimes, unexpected challenges. The revelation of a baby’s gender is a momentous milestone for any family, often celebrated with enthusiasm and love. However, not all journeys into parenthood unfold seamlessly, and for some, the path is marked by unforeseen obstacles.
It all started in a gender reveal party.
My wife and I held a gender reveal for our first child yesterday. It was my wife’s idea since she, her parents, and a few other people wanted to know the gender. I don’t really care what gender it is as long as it’s healthy. My MIL and FIL wanted it to be a boy because they always wanted a son but had two daughters instead. My wife also wanted it to be a boy, but only because of her parents. She didn’t really care much either way.
It was a very small gathering with just a few friends and close family members. After it was revealed that the baby was a girl, my MIL walked away and got very upset, and my FIL looked disappointed. After around ten minutes, I went into the garden to see my MIL crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she really wanted a grandson.
Both in-laws didn’t hide their disappointment.
I told her that I was sorry she was disappointed, but it didn’t really matter that much, and she got really annoyed at me. At this point, my FIL had joined us and heard what I said to her. He told me I should be sad, too, since I wouldn’t be able to teach the baby about cars (I’m a mechanic, and I joked a few times about getting the baby to follow in my footsteps). I told him that she might be interested in cars when she’s older, so I don’t really understand how that’s relevant.
They were saying a bunch of things about what they can’t do now because she’s a girl, like taking her to sports games and teaching her about sports. They said that I’ll be missing out on giving a son “the talk and girls.” I don’t really care that much about that, but what if the baby likes girls, their argument is pretty weak.
His wife didn’t agree with his action.
They said a few other things about why they wanted her to be a boy, but I just walked away and went back inside.
My MIL and FIL explained the whole argument to my wife, and she got really upset with me. She said that I should’ve comforted them and had at least a bit of sympathy. I just don’t understand why the gender is such a big deal. Shouldn’t they just be happy they’re getting a grandchild?
But people comforted this father-to-be.
- “Mom of 3 girls here: I grew up playing sports and knew way more about sports and cars than my ex did. In fact, my girls have been to Lakers and Dodgers games many times and KNOW the sports and most of the rules: ages 4,7,11. Girls love what they are exposed to and find interest in. Boys love what they’re exposed to and find interest in. Period. Good for you.
Your wife has clearly bought into their pity party, and I’d suggest having a serious conversation with her soon.” SorryRestaurant3421 / Reddit
- “They were invited to a celebration of your baby, and this behavior is not normal for upcoming grandparents. Some private disappointment over the gender could be forgiven, but to need consoling over the gender of your baby girl is absolutely ridiculous and offensive.” Leading-Lake6007 / Reddit
- “It’s a baby, and it’s yours and their daughter’s. They should be delighted. If they wanted a boy, they should, at most, be slightly disappointed. They’re instead assigning gender roles and moaning because ’girls can’t do X, girls can’t do Y,’ etc. They don’t deserve comfort or sympathy for placing imaginary limits on your daughter. This implies they did the same to your wife.” extinct_diplodocus
- “It doesn’t sound as though there are any intelligent reasons for them preferring the boy they’re not going to get, so you won’t be able to logic them out of their position. Just ignore the whole thing. They’ll fall in love with the new grandbaby, or they won’t.
Your own attitude is exactly as it should be, so I wish you and your wife all the best with your new tiny person. I think it’s beyond rude to go to a gender reveal when you *care* so desperately about the outcome. Stay away, and keep your triumph or disappointment out of the parents’ view.” YourLittleRuth / Reddit
The conclusion of this story is not merely the resolution of a fight, but a proof of the enduring spirit of parental love. It is a reminder that while external opinions may cast shadows, the intensity of a family’s unity can disperse even the darkest clouds. In the end, it becomes evident that the joy of welcoming a new life into the world transcends societal norms and expectations.