Balancing family help and parenting choices can be a real challenge. Our reader's MIL is a strict vegan, and since she and her partner work a lot, the MIL often babysits their kids. Recently, the little ones started suffering from regular headaches and vomiting. One day, our reader made a startling discovery that changed their relationship drastically.
oh dear, I have never understood people who want to impose their beliefs on others, be it food or religion. Get yourself a reliable babysitter or a nanny who takes care of your children's needs and does not experiment with their health. Of course it is cheaper to have your mother-in-law as a babysitter, but it comes at a cost to the children's health. Just balancing what is most important the children or that it must not cost childcare. I would rather have a babysitter that I pay than have a person who makes the children sick, the choice is not that difficult.
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Reply
Thank you for reaching out to us! We understand this is a challenging situation, and we’re here to support you.
Your kids were getting sick because of her diet, and you had to put your foot down. You're not being ungrateful, you're protecting your kids.
Tell her about the kids' health issues and how you found out she was throwing away your meals. Share the kids' test results and the doctor's opinion about their nutritional deficiencies. This will make it clear that her diet is harming them.
Explain that you need to adjust the babysitting schedule to monitor your kids’ health more closely. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your kids’ well-being over your MIL’s feelings. You’re a great parent for taking action! Maybe she can come over for shorter visits or help out in other ways.
Set clear boundaries.
You need to be clear with your MIL about what you expect. She wants only the best for her grandkids, but her ideas about healthy eating aren't working.
Let her know that you appreciate her help, but you're the parent, and you decide what your kids eat. Be firm, but kind. Your kids' health is the most important thing.
Try to find a compromise.
If possible, try to find a middle ground with your MIL. Perhaps you can involve her in meal planning, allowing her to suggest healthy ingredients or recipes. You could also compromise by incorporating some of her healthier options into your kids’ meals, but in moderation and balanced with other foods.
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