My MIL Gave Everything to Her "Precious Princess"— Now Demands Monthly Payments

Money fights with in-laws can destroy marriages faster than almost anything else. Many parents who made bad financial choices expect their adult children to bail them out when retirement comes. The guilt trips and manipulation that follow can rip apart families that took years to build. And some in-laws will use shocking tactics to get money when their children say no.

Here’s Lisa’s story:

Hi Bright Side,

My MIL gave everything to her other daughter and now demands my husband and I fund her retirement. I refused. She screamed, “You ungrateful brats will regret it!” I called her bluff. The next day, my husband was late home. He called me in tears: “You must come to Mom’s house right now. She’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t come out until we agree to her terms.”

When I arrived, I could hear her sobbing dramatically and wailing about how “unloved” she felt. She had apparently spent the entire day calling my husband at work and crying about being abandoned by her family.

My husband was completely panicked, convinced something terrible would happen if we didn’t give in to her demands. She had manipulated him into believing that our refusal meant we wanted her to end up homeless, even though she owns her house.

What shocked me most was discovering she had been telling neighbors and family members that we were “cruel and heartless” for refusing to support her, painting herself as a victim of our success. Meanwhile, she conveniently left out the part about spending $150,000 on her other daughter’s house down payment and college expenses while we struggled to pay for our own wedding.

The bathroom drama lasted three hours, with her periodically shouting through the door about how she “sacrificed everything” for her children and deserved better treatment. She finally came out when I calmly told her we were leaving and she could call us when she was ready to have a rational conversation.

Since then, she’s been alternating between guilt trips and silent treatment, trying every manipulation tactic in the book to wear us down. My husband feels torn between supporting me and avoiding conflict with his mother, and the stress is affecting our entire marriage.

I love my husband dearly, but I refuse to fund someone else’s retirement when we’re trying to build our own financial future. I need advice on how to handle this situation without destroying our family relationships completely.

Sincerely,
Lisa

Dear Lisa, thank you for sharing such a difficult and emotionally draining situation with us. We completely understand how exhausting it must be to deal with manipulation tactics while trying to protect your family’s financial future. Your feelings are completely valid, and we hope our advice helps you navigate this challenging family dynamic with confidence and clarity.

Don’t let drama change your decision.

Her bathroom drama and crying are meant to make you feel guilty and give her money. These aren’t real emergencies—they’re manipulation tactics to wear you down. Remember the facts: she chose to give everything to one child and now expects the other to pay for it. No amount of tears changes that you have every right to protect your own money.

Stop attending her drama performances.

When she locks herself in bathrooms or creates other theatrical scenes, don’t rush over to deal with the crisis she’s manufactured. These situations are designed to make you feel responsible for her emotional state and give in to avoid more drama. Let your husband handle his mother’s tantrums without involving you, and don’t reward her manipulation by giving it attention. She’ll stop the dramatics when she realizes they don’t work to get what she wants.

Set clear communication rules.

Set clear rules about when she can contact you about money. Don’t let her call your husband at work constantly or show up at your house without warning. Tell her that money talks only happen at scheduled times with both of you there, and if she starts manipulating, the conversation ends immediately. Stick to these rules every time to show her that her tactics won’t work.

Focus on her choices, not her needs.

When she complains about money problems, remind her that she chose to give everything to one child and now has to deal with that choice. Don’t let her ignore how she created this situation by focusing only on her current needs. She’s not a victim—she’s dealing with the results of her own favoritism and bad planning.

Have you ever had in-laws who expected you to bankroll their lifestyle or clean up their financial disasters? Maybe you’ve been manipulated into supporting family members who blew their own money, or perhaps you’ve had to cut off relatives who saw you as their personal ATM. Share your story in the comments—other people dealing with greedy family members need to know they’re not alone in refusing to be treated like a walking credit card!

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