My MIL Refused to Help Me, So I Banned Her from Seeing My Kids

Managing family dynamics can be tough, especially with in-laws. One mom faced frustration when her retired MIL refused to help with cooking or babysitting, saying she was "done raising kids." This led to rising tensions, leaving the mom feeling unsupported. With her husband caught in the middle, she’s now trying to balance her boundaries while keeping the peace at home.

Thank you, Helen, for opening up and sharing your story. We understand how difficult it can be to maintain a positive relationship with your mother-in-law, particularly when emotions are running high. We hope the suggestions we've compiled will guide you toward making the best choices for your family.

Communicate your parenting values.

Have an open, calm conversation with your MIL. Explain why healthy eating is important to you and your family. Avoid blaming her; instead, focus on sharing your goals for your children’s well-being.

Set clear boundaries.

Politely but firmly communicate your expectations regarding her role in your household. Be specific about what kind of help you’re asking for and what behaviors you’d prefer she avoids, such as bringing junk food.

Acknowledge her contributions.

Show appreciation for the effort she is making, even if it doesn’t align perfectly with your needs. Saying “Thank you for trying to help” can soften her defensiveness and open the door to better communication.

Involve your husband.

Have a conversation with your husband about how his support is crucial. Share how his mother’s actions are impacting you and ask him to mediate between you and his mom to maintain family harmony.

Focus on the kids’ perspective.

Explain to your MIL how her actions affect your children emotionally, such as the confusion caused by receiving mixed messages about healthy eating or her comments about being “done raising kids.”

"My husband, my two kids from my previous marriage, and l are going on an expensive vacation overseas," our reader wrote. "I invited my 16 y.o. stepson to join us under one condition: he must babysit our 3-year-old daughter. He stormed out and refused. "You're not coming with us then!" I said. The morning before our flight, I went to my daughter's room and couldn't believe my eyes: I found her..." Click here to find out what happened.