My MIL Refuses to Babysit Because We Have a Dog—It’s Not That Serious

Sometimes, new parents just need a break. Family support can feel like a lifeline, but when personal boundaries and miscommunication collide, even the best intentions can lead to broken trust. One dad thought he had found a harmless way to keep everyone happy. But his choice led to a moment that changed everything.

Here’s what he shared.

My wife and I had just welcomed our first child. We were overwhelmed, exhausted, and completely in over our heads. I asked my mother-in-law to help babysit once or twice a week.

She said no immediately. “I’m terrified of dogs, especially big ones,” she told me. Our dog is a large shepherd mix, and even though he’s sweet and gentle, she wanted nothing to do with him.

I promised her he wouldn’t be in the house when she was there. The plan was to drop the dog off at my dad’s house whenever she was to babysit, and she finally agreed.

I may have told a little white lie.

I know I agreed to send our dog to my dad’s house, but I’m a new dad, I didn’t need an extra chore to do.

Instead, I made a comfortable space for him in our basement and kept the door locked whenever my mother-in-law came over. He never barked, never made a sound, and I truly believed there was no harm in what I was doing.

I didn’t think the plan through.

Everything was fine, until one day she came early.

My wife had gone to the store, and I was upstairs feeding the baby when I heard the front door open. My mother-in-law had let herself in believing that our dog was at my dad’s house, just like I had promised.

The truth comes out.

My mother-in-law doesn’t usually visit the basement, but it was never told that it was out of bounds to her.

That day, she had opened the basement door to leave something in storage — and came face to face with the very dog she believed was never in the house. She panicked, dropped the bag she was carrying, and stormed out.

I betrayed two people that I love.

She was furious. My wife was blindsided. And I had no excuse.

Later that night, my wife told me her mom was so shaken that she said she wouldn’t step foot in our home again. She was hurt and embarrassed. And worst of all, my wife said she felt betrayed too.

I thought I was keeping the peace. Instead, I ended up damaging two relationships in one day.

Here’s our advice:

Even small lies, when made with good intentions, can cause deep damage. Trust in a family is built on honesty, and shortcuts often come with consequences. Here’s what you can do if you ever find yourself in a similar situation:

• Transparency builds trust: A difficult truth is better than a convenient lie. If someone has boundaries, respect them.

• Respect others’ fears, even if they seem irrational: What’s harmless to you may be deeply unsettling to someone else. Avoid tricking others just to make things easier.

• Loop your partner in: If you’re making decisions that affect your home or their family, they deserve to be part of that conversation.

• Small lies can create big trust issues: Even if your intentions are good, white lies can be more harmful than you think.

While it does take a village to raise a child, new parents need to be mindful that they don’t cross boundaries when asking family to babysit for them. Here’s another story about a grandmother who refused to babysit her grandkids.