My MIL Showed Up After 25 Years and Wants to Be Treated as a Grandmother

Family & kids
5 months ago

Our grandmothers are probably the kindest and the most caring people in our lives. Many people joke that no one can spoil a kid so much as a loving granny. But the hero of our today’s article is a single dad, whose daughter has never seen her mom or her granny in her life. And now the man’s MIL showed up and claims she has a right to see her granddaughter and demands to be treated like a real grandmother.

A man wrote a letter to us, telling about his complicated situation.

A man, whose name’s Nick, and who’s 46 years old, wrote a letter to our editorial and opened up about his tough family situation. It started a long time ago and brought its severe consequences not only for him, but for his daughter.

Nick wrote that he is a single dad. He has raised his beautiful and smart daughter all alone. The man revealed that when his baby daughter was just 3 days old, her mom, his ex-wife, all of a sudden decided that she doesn’t want kids anymore.

He wrote, “My wife, Laura, claimed she was not ready to have a kid. And what shocked me to the core, was that she persistently refused to even feed her or hold her. I thought I would just give her some time. I believed to the last moment that maybe it was just a postpartum depression or something, and we would cope with it together.
I was ready to be there for her, but in the end it appeared that she was serious. Laura packed her stuff and left the hospital. My wife’s last words were that she didn’t want to see me and our daughter ever again in her life. I have never met her since.”

The man strongly feels that his MIL was the root of an evil in this situation.

Nick continues his story, saying that he’s sure his MIL had something to do with the whole incident. He explained, “During my wife’s pregnancy, she was constantly talking about how young her daughter was and how improper of a moment this was for Laura to have a baby. I have no proof and I can’t tell 100%, but I strongly feel like MIL somehow persuaded her to abandon her newborn daughter for whatever reason.”

Nick was then left alone with a small baby in his hands. The man confessed that his life at that moment definitely wasn’t easy. He was just 21 years old, and he had to leave college and start working extremely hard to give his little daughter, Violet, everything she needed.

But this world is full of kind people, and Nick did have some good help from other people. He says, “I am happy that I wasn’t totally alone. There were people who helped me to overcome the hardest period, friends who babysat Violet while I was working, who supported me with advice on how to take care of an infant, and I’ll be forever thankful to them. When my little lady grew up a little, it became a lot easier.”

Neither MIL, nor man’s ex-wife showed any interest for Violet.

The man goes on, saying that he finally could send his daughter to a kindergarten, and then he started to work without asking people to take care of her while he was not there.

During all this time, the man sincerely hoped to hear from Violet’s mother. He believed that she would eventually come around and realize that this was the biggest mistake in her life when she left her child like something worthless. But the man’s hopes were all in vain.

Nick wrote, “Even though I had left her my contacts and she could easily contact me or write me a letter or message me, she didn’t do it. I never heard from Laura. She also had never used her rights to visit her daughter. When Violet was little, she often asked me why did her mother just leave her, why didn’t she want her. And I sincerely didn’t know what to answer because I always made a huge effort not to speak badly of her mom in front of her.”

Nick also mentioned that his MIL also never showed up, and never even asked him if he needed help with the baby. She never asked about what name he had given to her granddaughter, how her health was and how she was growing and developing. Violet was growing up with the knowledge that her grandmother was very far away, and she just couldn’t come to her.

The story took a whimsical turn one day.

Nick wrote that now his daughter is 25 years old, she’s a beautiful lady, and she’s a very hardworking and educated young woman. The proud dad admitted that he’s also proud of himself that he was able to raise her to be a really good person.

The man wrote, “We stopped talking about her mom a long time ago, it was Violet’s own initiative, she was like, well, if she doesn’t want me and doesn’t wish to be with us, then it’s her big loss and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

But recently, the “relatives from nowhere” decided to remind them about their existence. One day, the man’s MIL appeared on their doorstep. She didn’t give him a call, didn’t make any kind of notification. She was just there, and she had come to visit her granddaughter, whose name she even didn’t know.

Nick wrote, “I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. At first, I even didn’t recognize her, because so many years have passed, after all. And MIL was behaving as if she was a loving grandmother who had come from a faraway country to see her grandchild, like she does all the time. Not like she was absent for long 25 years.”

Violet didn’t give her grandmother a warm welcome, too.

When Violet saw her grandma, she of course didn’t recognize her either. Nick admitted that he had shown her photos of her mom and grandma just in case they arrive one day, but he never really believed that they would.

The man wrote, “MIL ran up to Violet and tried to hug her, just like a caring grandmother would. She was asking how she’s doing and commenting on how big and beautiful she has become. Violet just pushed her away, and she looked very confused. I told her that it’s her grandmother who decided to randomly show up to visit her, and she was like ’oh’ and went away from her.”

The grandmother didn’t take this behavior very well. She looked at Nick and was like, “What have you told her about us if she doesn’t even say hello to her granny? She’s treating me as if I’m a stranger! Haven’t you told her about her mommy and me or shown her our pictures?”

Nick comments, “Well, technically you really are a stranger to us both, dear MIL. Violet had never seen you in person, so why are you so puzzled? You appear out of thin air after 25 years when she’s all grown up and expect her to treat you with a big love.” Violet also said to her granny, “Dad showed me your photo, but I didn’t need a photo, I needed you to be there for me.”

Nick said that his daughter was also throwing questions at her grandma, and MIL’s responses were absolutely narrow-minded. The whole situation looked like she wasn’t expecting her granddaughter to ask any questions. Violet asked her where her mother was and MIL just said that she was doing very well, she was married to a great man, and she’s a mom to 3 wonderful kids.

MIL didn’t get what she was hoping for.

Nick pointed out that MIL was acting as if his ex-wife was the victim in that situation. As if they were the ones who left her.

Violet asked her why her mom abandoned her, and MIL just said, “Well, she was such a young lady, it would be insane for her to have a baby at that age! She had her whole life ahead of her, and a kid would only be a barrier. You should understand it, she didn’t want to abandon her freedom!”

Then Violet told her to leave and never come back, she said she doesn’t want to see her ever again, and she won’t help her with anything. And as she was leaving, she attacked Nick like “That’s what I thought, a man alone cannot raise a proper person! Such a rude and impolite lady, she would have been out better in an orphanage than with you!”

We’d advise Nick to take it easy and to never remember about that woman again.

We’re grateful to Nick for writing to us and for his trust. We think that he has raised a wonderful young lady, who has her own vision of things and is able to make her own decisions about people around her.

Nick was sincere and honest in his intentions, he never spoke bad about his ex-wife or his MIL in the presence of his daughter, and she has been raised in love and care, but the only person in her life was her dad.

It’s normal that she loves her dad and doesn’t treat her grandmother as someone who’s related to her and as a complete stranger, because, in fact, she is a stranger to her.

And here’s a yet more dramatic story, that became a reason for a big family scandal. A woman kicked out her pregnant daughter with her 6 kids (woman’s grandchildren), and here’s why she doesn’t regret about her decision.

Preview photo credit Italo Melo / Pexels


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