I Uninvited My MIL From Our Wedding After She Wanted to Walk Me Down the Aisle

Family & kids
5 months ago

Parents play the biggest role in our lives, bringing us into the world and guiding us on the journey called life. Mothers often have a special bond with their sons, especially if they are the only son, making life a little more complicated when it comes to welcoming a daughter-in-law into the family circle. This MIL had pretty strange requests for her son’s wedding, so the bride shared her story with the Internet.

She shared her story.

“I (28F) met my fiancé (28M) during college, and we have a great relationship. Last year, we got engaged, and we’re planning the wedding for this fall.

While he has an awesome dad and really sweet sisters, his mother is kind of a sore spot for him. She is separated from his dad and from what I’ve heard (and witnessed), the family doesn’t get along much with her. If you met her, you’d understand why — she’s super judgmental and rude and barely has a nice word to say about her own kids, let alone me.

Unfortunately, my fiancé (being her only son and the youngest child) is her blatant favorite — she really wants him to be Mommy’s Boy, but he’s not that way at all and does a great job of handling her and keeping his distance (which honestly he prefers).”

“Upon news of our engagement, she was super excited, very uncharacteristically. We then all realized that she basically wanted to frame the whole day around her — think ‘Everyone should be praising me for birthing this boy, he couldn’t even get married without me!’. From there the craziness really ramped up — she was coming along with him to tux fittings, trying to plan out the music (even OUR FIRST DANCE), and getting angry at me for daring to choose a dress she didn’t like.

The rest of his family and I were beginning to toy with the idea of uninviting her based on this behavior, and as wrong as it kind of innately feels, this is a pretty exceptional case and honestly, her actions were starting to make us dread our own wedding. A further incident a few days later where she told her son she wanted to walk me down the aisle so she could ‘have a moment with her son at the altar’ made me, my future husband, and my future in-laws snap.”

“We very recently arranged for her to come over to our home, where myself and my future husband sat her down in peace and quiet, and gently explained to her that we no longer wanted her to attend the wedding. She got really angry and immediately flew off the handle at me and not her son, as though I was the one who had influenced the rest of the family to uninvite her.

My frustration at her boiled over, and without shouting, I stood up and told her that I wanted her to stop yelling and that she had no right to speak to me as she was. When I realized she was about to blow up again, I cut her off with, ‘In case you don’t know, I’m the one marrying your son, not you.’ She didn’t say anything else, just snatched up her bag and left.

She hasn’t spoken to me since, but she’s trying to get her son to change his mind (believe me when I say he will not). She wants an apology from me, and while my future husband (and the rest of the family) don’t think I did wrong, I kind of wonder if my comment was unnecessary and whether it would’ve been better to stay the calm and collected party. I’m just so done with her, and I wanted to let her know exactly how I felt.”

What other people had to say about this situation.

  • “You did things EXACTLY correctly. If you didn’t put your foot down now, you would have a lifetime of drama with her. This post should be saved/stuck as an example of how to properly deal with a terrible mother-in-law. And your fiancé deserves a high five for having your back!” CassieW309 / Reddit
  • “This kind of delusional behavior will only get progressively worse over time, especially if it isn’t (firmly) quashed. Either you set hard boundaries now, or she will be throwing tantrums at every milestone for the rest of your lives. Congrats on having a future husband with a shiny steel spine to match your own.” savinathewhite / Reddit
  • “If you apologize, she will consider it a win and will escalate things, as she (in her mind) will have proved her point that your fiancé cares more about her than you. Do not enable her. Hire security to ensure she doesn’t disturb any part of the wedding and reception.” ahopskip_andajump / Reddit
  • “I think the fact that all her children are on your side tells you everything you need to know. This isn’t new behavior for her, she’s done nothing to make her kids give her the benefit of the doubt, and they were all ready to cut her from the wedding before you even said anything. Listen to your fiancé and those who know future MIL well, you said nothing wrong, and she brought this entire thing on herself.” CP81818 / Reddit
  • “I’m so happy your future hubby and in laws are standing up for you. Based on what I usually hear, in laws are a nightmare to deal with. I hope they continue to stick up for you and that you have a wonderful wedding without that sad excuse of a MIL. You might want to hire security just in case she storms in unannounced.” Big_Sadness / Reddit
  • “She sounds a bit deranged. Mothers don’t get time at the altar with the groom. Seriously, what would stop her from making a dramatic ‘I object’ moment? If she does show, assign a groomsman or someone to be there to control or eject her.” Few_Disaster_5489 / Reddit
  • “Call all the people who are working on your wedding, caterers, florists, photographer, add passwords only you and hubs to know to keep the MIL from trying to impersonate you and change plans or just cancel.” Expensive_Rhubarb_87 / Reddit
  • “If her son doesn’t want her there, end of discussion. No one should have to deal with drama on their wedding day. If your fiancé changes his mind and wants her to come to the wedding, then just roll with it and try not to let her ruin such a special occasion.” Western-Series9195 / Reddit

While many said the bride was right, some people thought that this was a bad idea.

  • “Uninviting her is crazy. I understand telling her you guys will make your own decisions and saying you are invited to the wedding, but not the planning of it. Can you imagine you raising a young man, and he says you’re not allowed at his wedding? I’m not saying mom wasn’t out of line, but there are better ways to handle things.” Educational-Dream596 / Reddit
  • “I don’t think you handled it well. The fiancé should be capable of going to tux fittings without informing his mother of the appointment time. Decline to accept her input of music choices without commentary. Of course, decline her suggestion that she walk the bride down the aisle if that was suggested (I don’t believe it).
    You could have calmly declined and ignored all her attempted input without even uninviting her to the wedding. Now, if she and FIL are footing any of the bill, you’d need to handle her suggestions especially diplomatically or decline her financial input as well.” Jaded_Watercress_393 / Reddit
  • “There are better and less drastic ways of creating your own family unit, and as long as you are prepared to live with your actions, you should have a peaceful life. Just remember that you don’t know what happened to cause your future husband’s mother to behave like this, and her family seems to be ganging up on her. It sounds like you all need some emotional intelligence.” jenapoluzi57 / Reddit

Another Reddit user went through a similar situation.

“My husband ended up uninviting his family to our intimate 14-person dinner but allowed his mom to be present for the ceremony. They blame me and haven’t spoken to me in 7 months since the wedding. On our wedding day, she was belligerent and mean. His dad was supposed to get ready with my husband, and he was 30 minutes late.

Then my husband had to deal with his mom, aunt, and 2 cousins also wanting access to his room to ‘get ready’ with him, despite never being asked or invited and knowing the plan months in advance. My husband was stern, said no, and they yelled at him and sat in the car for an hour and a half instead of going for coffee or exploring the small town we got married in.

During the ceremony my husband reminded his dad he was signing the certificate with us and his mom, in front of all our guests and the videographer/photographer said ‘Wow another thing you are not choosing me for, and I gave birth to you. Are you kidding me?’ (The videographer has this on film.)”

“After the ceremony, while doing family photos, his mum refused to hug me and congratulate me. She hugged my husband and said, ‘My son, wow, I love you’... So I grabbed his mum and pulled her in for a hug.

When it came to our cocktail reception she sat there with her arms crossed the whole time not interacting with any of my family members and making our guests very uncomfortable. We had half of our 40 guests reach out and ask who she was and if she was okay because she was super rude to anyone who attempted to speak to her.

Anyways, 7 days after the wedding when we returned from the mini-moon we called his family to thank them for the gift and his mother screamed at us telling us our wedding was the worst day of her life and she never felt more disrespected. And that I had manipulated her son and everything was my fault.

It’s been 7 months now and no one talks to me. I wish I didn’t invite her to our wedding. But I’m glad she couldn’t ruin our intimate dinner.”

Building a solid connection with your mother-in-law can be challenging, and it may seem impossible at times. It takes work from both sides. But what if you and your in-law were getting along fine and then everything changed? Check why DIL kicked her 72 yo MIL out of the house.


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