My MIL Was Supposed to Keep My Daughter Safe — but She Didn’t, and She’s Not Sorry

We recently received a letter from a mother whose relaxing weekend getaway turned into a cortisol-pumping scare. A mother trusted her in-laws while she got some sleep and woke up to every parent’s worst nightmare: her 6-year-old daughter had gone missing while under the care of her grandparents. What happened next made her blood pressure boil and left her questioning not only her trust but her entire relationship with her in-laws.

The letter.

I went on a mini-vacation with my 6-year-old daughter, Ellie, and my mother-in-law, Claire. Claire also brought along her 8-year-old grandson, Max. I didn’t love the idea—Max can be a bit loud and rough—but Claire was really excited for them to bond, so I agreed.

Right away, it was stressful. Max was energetic and pushed boundaries a lot—he ignored rules and wasn’t very kind to Ellie. She tried to play with him, but he often dismissed her or teased her. I did my best to keep things balanced, but by the third day, I was emotionally drained.

My MIL insisted I rest while she watched my daughter. “Just a quick nap,” she said. I woke, and my daughter was gone and missing. MIL was just sitting there, with no sign of worry. I was the only one panicking. Hours later, I found her in the hotel’s basement storage room, sitting on the floor, hugging her knees. She looked shaken, but thankfully, she was okay.

What happened? While I was asleep, Max and Ellie had a disagreement over a cereal box. Ellie got upset and ran off, and Claire, thinking she was just sulking, didn’t follow her. She assumed Ellie would come back once she cooled off, but she didn’t even notice how long she’d been gone. That’s when I returned and realized Ellie was missing.

Once I found her, I packed up and left with her. I needed to get her back somewhere safe and calm. Since then, my sister-in-law has accused me of overreacting and leaving Claire and Max behind, but I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong. I left my daughter in Claire’s care for a short time and came back to find her missing. That’s a big deal to me.

I don’t even know if Claire realizes how serious this could’ve been. I trusted her, and now I feel like that trust is broken.

Please advise.
—Albina

Supportive Pieces of Advice for Albina

• You responded appropriately and bravely.
  When your child went missing, even briefly, your decision to take action and leave was protective, not dramatic. It’s natural for others to downplay what happened, especially when it all “ended well,” but that doesn’t change the seriousness of the situation.

• Claire didn’t act maliciously, but she was careless.
  It sounds like Claire underestimated the situation and assumed Ellie would come back on her own. While she probably meant no harm, not noticing how long a 6-year-old was missing is still deeply concerning. You have every right to feel shaken and to expect more attentiveness going forward.

• Ellie’s emotional safety matters too.
  Even though she wasn’t physically hurt, Ellie was frightened and left alone—feelings that can linger. What she needed most in that moment was to feel seen and supported. Your swift response helped her feel safe again.

• You don’t owe anyone an apology.
  It’s not selfish or rude to prioritize your daughter’s wellbeing. You left because you no longer felt Ellie was safe or emotionally supported in that environment. That’s not abandoning anyone—that’s parenting.

• Consider what future involvement looks like.
  If Claire wants to rebuild trust, she’ll need to understand how this impacted both you and Ellie. Whether or not you continue including her in future trips or caregiving situations is completely up to you—and should be based on actions, not pressure from others.

Thanks to Albina for sending in this story: moments like these remind us how even brief encounters can leave a lasting mark. And if you’re up for more, don’t miss our next piece about Demi Moore’s latest photos that have everyone asking the same question about the actress who’s still as gorgeous as ever.