A mother’s greatest heartbreak comes from feeling excluded from her child’s life. Greta is utterly shattered after her son and daughter-in-law requested that she move out, claiming there’s no longer space for her. What makes it even more painful is that they are living in Greta’s own house. She shared her story with us and is seeking advice.
Your son and DIL are full-on sociopaths. When he was smaller, did you ever say "No" and mean it? Did you allow him to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions? It's time he worked to put a roof over the heads of those he chose and is responsible for. This will do him far more good than continuing to prop him. Elder abuse is a thing, and won't be tolerated. You have the law on your side. If he cuts you off from his kuds, he will pay for this when they grow up and see what he is for themselves. Or, if they turn out like their father, he is sparing you further pain by keeping them away. You can't afford to keep guests in your home who will rob and cheat you of your home.
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Reply
We appreciate you sharing your experience with us, Greta! Here are some suggestions that we hope will provide some guidance.
Initiate a peaceful dialogue with your son and Meredith, highlighting your affection for them and your wish to remain close to your grandchildren.
Understand their desire for more privacy as their family expands, but also convey your strong attachment to your home of 43 years. Look for potential solutions, such as reconfiguring living spaces or defining clear boundaries, to address everyone’s needs without harming family connections.
Consult a lawyer to understand your rights as a homeowner, especially concerning eviction laws and property ownership. Gaining a thorough grasp of the legal aspects will enable you to make well-informed decisions and safeguard your interests.
Discuss possible legal solutions with your son and Meredith to reach an agreement that honors both your rights and their needs.
Recommend participating in family counseling or mediation sessions led by a neutral third party. These sessions offer a safe environment for each family member to voice their concerns, frustrations and needs while striving for a mutually acceptable solution.
A skilled mediator can assist in managing emotional tensions and promoting effective communication, helping to foster understanding and compromise among all involved.
While it’s crucial to maintain your independence and autonomy, consider exploring alternative living arrangements that cater to your needs while providing your son and his family with the space they need. Investigate assisted living communities or senior housing options that offer a supportive environment for older adults, allowing for regular visits and continued involvement with your grandchildren.
In the ongoing discussion about mothers-in-law living with their children’s families, Nessa extended an invitation for her mom to move in following her father’s passing. Initially hesitant, her husband eventually agreed under the condition that Nessa’s mother pay rent. This stipulation sparked frustration in Nessa, prompting her to turn to us for advice.
