My Son Rejected Me When I Needed Him Most After Everything I’d Done for Him

After raising your kids into the grown adults, you may expect some generosity in return. But, in a lot of cases, most may simply choose to move parents to a nursing home to live out the rest of their life. While there’s nothing wrong with that, facing this decision is often met with guilt and hurt from both parties, like in this story.

My son should’ve had my back.

A reader explains, “Years ago, we gifted our only son a house on his wedding day. Now my husband is gone, and I hoped to move in with my son because of my health issues, and I was starting to feel lonely.

But my DIL complained, ’We have no extra room!’ I told him, ’She doesn’t get to decide if I can live with you. Your dad bought this house with our money, I have rights.’ My son said, ’You were always there for us, I know that. But we just don’t have enough space for you.’”

They wanted to throw me in a nursing home.

“It turns out the only available room is a nursery for their baby that’s on the way. I said I’d be happy to stay in their renovated basement, but they refused because it’s the kids’ gaming room.

Then my DIL suggested a retirement home. They promised to pay for it. But I’m only 60 and still relatively healthy, aside from my bad knees. A retirement home feels too far ahead of me, and I just don’t know how to move forward from here.”

Thank you for opening up to us! We’ve prepared some tips that might help you in this emotional situation.

Consider your words carefully next time.

You need to rethink the way you communicate with your son, particularly when you referred to your DIL having no say. She is his wife, and you need to treat her with as much respect as you would any other family member.

You can’t bend your son to your will.

Your son is a grown man and has the right to refuse your request. You need to also understand what you’re asking of him. There will be another mouth to feed, and you might need caregiving, considering your health issues as well. And so, dealing with that on top of having kids can make things too chaotic in the house.

Weigh your options well.

Consider your other options. Your son and DIL have offered to pay for a residence at a nursing home, where you’ll meet new people and alleviate your loneliness. Plus, the facilities and staff will take good care of your healthcare needs. Meanwhile, if you stay with your son, you might feel like a burden after realizing how difficult it can be to manage a house with kids.

Asking to move in can be a lot on someone. They have to consider extra costs among other things. But even after moving in, you might start having some regrets, like this woman who moved in with her brother after his divorce.