My Son Was Draining Me Emotionally and Financially—I Put My Happiness First and Asked Him to Leave

A woman opened her home to her son after he finished college, but over time, his stay started to take a toll on her peace of mind and personal finance. As a result, she made the tough parenting call to ask him to move out, choosing her own happiness and stability instead.

I’m 50, and my son has been living with me since finishing college last year. At first, it was lovely having him back. He said he needed time to save money and look for work. I understood. I gave him space.

But over time, he stopped helping around the house entirely. He’d stay in his room all day playing games. Dirty dishes piled up in the sink. I asked him once to vacuum the living room, and he muttered, “I’m too tired.”

And for some reason, he never let me clean his room. “I’m an adult now. I need privacy,” he said.

One day, while he was out with friends, I decided to clean up anyway. I started dusting, vacuuming. But then I looked under his bed and was horrified to find a bunch of receipts with my name on every single one.

He had been using my credit card to buy expensive computer parts, and I never even noticed. I was beyond hurt. I’d been cooking, cleaning, and financially supporting someone who had lied every single day.

My hands were shaking when I confronted him that night. He didn’t deny it. “You always say we’re family,” he shrugged. “What’s the big deal?” I told him to pack his things and move out.

He moved in with a college friend the next day. We haven’t spoken since. I miss him, but I also feel betrayed.

I raised him with love. Where did I go wrong? Should I reach out, or wait for him to realize what he did?

I’d love your advice.

Thank you for opening up about what you’re going through. We know it’s not an easy to ask your child to leave, especially when you’re dealing with the sting of feeling let down. We’ve put together a few suggestions that might help you figure out how to move forward in a healthy way.

Rebuild boundaries before rebuilding the relationship.

Even if your heart says “reach out,” your boundaries should come first. If you do talk again, make it clear that your love isn’t a license to take advantage. No matter how the conversation goes, be firm about what you will and won’t tolerate in the future.

Rebuilding doesn’t start with an apology—it starts with changed behavior. And you have every right to expect that before welcoming him back emotionally.

Be open to forgiveness, but don’t rush it.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen. It means saying, “I refuse to let this hurt control me forever.” But it has to come on your timeline. It’s okay if you’re not ready to speak to him yet. Sometimes silence gives both sides the space they need to grow.

You might want to journal, talk to a therapist, or lean on a trusted friend while you process. When the time feels right, you’ll know whether reaching out is the best next step—or if waiting is still the right call.

Consider what reaching out would look like.

If you decide to reach out, think about what outcome you’re hoping for. Are you looking for an apology? A chance to vent your pain? Reconnection? Knowing your goal will help you approach the conversation with more clarity.

Keep it simple and avoid rehashing everything in the first message. And if he responds with anger or blame again, you’ll know you tried—and you can still walk away with your dignity intact.

Trust that how you raised him still matters.

It’s easy to look at this moment and wonder where things went wrong. But one mistake—or even a series of them—doesn’t erase a lifetime of parenting. You raised him with love, care, and values. That foundation still exists, even if it’s buried under immaturity and entitlement right now.

Don’t let this one chapter define your entire relationship or your self-worth as a parent. Stay rooted in who you are, and when your son is ready to come back, he’ll remember the kind of mother he has.

Bringing stepkids into your home can really push your emotional limits. One man found himself so overwhelmed by his new living situation that he felt his only way out was to sell his house just to escape his stepchildren. His choice shocked everyone, but for him, it was a last resort.