I Don’t Remove My Body Hair Anymore and My Husband Is Not Into It

More than 20% of ladies who remove their body hair do so because their partner wants them to. As women, we’ve grown up with the idea that our legs should be smooth, our underarms soft and odorless, and the hair on our upper lip shouldn’t exist. One Bright Side reader happily ditched the razor and is now facing some tension in her marriage because of it.

Bright Side carefully read Heather’s letter and put together some helpful advice to ease her situation, and we can’t wait to hear your opinion on the matter.

Hey Heather! Thank you for your letter, for being vulnerable, and for asking us to help. The Bright Side team got together and here’s what advice we can give you:

  • Your body hair is nobody’s business but yours. You’re free to take your partner into account when making decisions about your body, as long as your own wishes and needs are being addressed and met.
  • Find out why your husband doesn’t like body hair. Maybe it’s the social stigma, or maybe it’s his personal preference. Either way, the best approach is to try to understand his point of view while you’re sharing yours. Have an open talk with your husband. Get a sitter, make a dinner reservation, and take time away just for the 2 of you.
  • Take the bull by the horns. Communication in marriage plays a vital role, and its absence is the most common factor leading to divorce — 65% of people reported it as the main reason for separation. On top of that, a lack of validation for feelings and opinions was the number one cause for women — at 85%. This brings us to the next point.
  • Agree to disagree. When having an argument over your body hair, tell your partner, “I understand your opinion, but I feel differently. Can we agree to disagree?” This allows your partner to feel heard and understood, and it also allows you to honor your own opinion, which validates your feelings.
  • In the ’90s, around 80% of women admitted to removing body hair in certain areas. In 2020, that number was closer to 69%. Moreover, thanks to feminism and celebrities who don’t shy away from going au naturel, women view body hair differently than we used to decades ago.
  • Today, shaving is a purely aesthetic choice. Way before we had access to modern showers, we believed that removing body hair decreases the risk of odors and infections. It turns out, that’s not really true.
  • Letting your body hair roam free has many benefits: it reduces friction and chafing, and it prevents certain conditions like ingrown hairs, razor burn, and skin irritation. Armpit hair may actually help you catch a mate — as body hair boosts the transmission of pheromones. Moreover, the hair on our skin helps regulate our body temperature.

In conclusion, what you do with your body hair — whether you shave it or let it be, it’s your decision. Choosing to embrace your hair can bring you inner peace, and as you yourself mentioned, Heather, there’s no better feeling than being carefree and happy in your own body.

Do you shave, wax, or trim? Do you ever take your partner into account when making decisions about your body hair? Let us know in the comments.

Preview photo credit thefuturistics / Flickr, CC BY 2.0


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I'd leave any woman with whom I married who suddenly decided to shave. Getting sloppy about hygiene after 7 years of marriage is sort of like false advertising. Imagine if a man, clean shaven for all the time you had known him, decided to allow his beard to grow. You can get laser or waxing as an option.

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