That’s No Cute Mouse, and You Should Run If It’s Near

You wake up in the middle of the night from the feeling as if someone’s peering at you from the darkness. You open your eyes and see...oh, hi, Biscuit. Your pet hamster that you took in just yesterday is sitting right before you. And there’s something... primal about it.

Suddenly, the hamster stands up on its hind legs and howls like a wolf! Only much higher, like a whistle. Then, Biscuit scampers to the window, takes one last look at you and jumps out into the street. What in the world was that!?

Calm down... It’s just that what you took for a hamster was really a werewolf mouse. Or simply, grasshopper mouse. It’s a perfect hunter: it’s agile, quick, and doesn’t feel pain. The mouse lives in North America and doesn’t like digging holes. Why work if you can drive the owners out of their homes? This cute ball of fuzz preys on grasshoppers, snakes, and spiders, but most of all it loves dangerous prey.

Arizona bark scorpions are extremely venomous, but our cutie here — he doesn’t care. Over millions of years of evolution, the rodent learned to process scorpion neurotoxins into an energy drink. The venom is for this mouse like 100 cups of coffee for you, plus it helps you not feel pain! The more venom in the mouse’s body, the more it looks like a Viking went berserk. After the battle, the rodent raises its head into the night sky and howls. The sound is more like a whistle, but loud. If the animal howled in the center of a soccer field, you’d hear it from the stands.

This way, the mouse makes itself known and tells everyone, “I’m in charge here, so don’t you dare cross me!” You don’t believe it? Ask the poor scorpion. So when you woke up in your room, your mouse was singing a victory song. It may have just chased away a poisonous insect that had infiltrated your room. Nature took pity on humanity and made the grasshopper mouse small. But if you see one close by, then get out of there quickly. It means the werewolf mouse is hunting and there’s a scorpion somewhere near.

Mouse cubs, even in captivity, remain aggressive. They’re like the Spartan children of antiquity. From the first days of life, they’re ready to fight. Imagine that you got a job in a company creating our planet. You come to the office, and your boss says, “Newbie, I need a project on a new animal on my desk, tonight!” Besides yourself, you tried a bit too hard, and the result was the platypus...

The animal is covered with soft fur, it’s got a tail like a beaver’s, flippers, and a duck’s bill. The platypus lays eggs but feeds its young with milk. You’ve got a crazy imagination! Male platypuses have venomous spurs on their hind legs. The venom isn’t dangerous to humans, but you still better avoid petting the animal. If it stings you with those spurs, then a week of severe pain is guaranteed.

What animal has the nastiest temperament on the planet? That’s easy: a honey badger. Most of all, it resembles a skunk that visits the wrestling gym 5 times a week. And it smells like that too. The honey badger weighs as much as a two-year-old child, but it’s not afraid of anyone. It doesn’t care who’s confronting it, be it a venomous snake, two lions, or a pack of hyenas. It’ll attack them — and win. You want honey? No problem. Befriend a badger, and it’ll demolish a bee hive for you.

It’s not afraid of stings. The honey badger has a thick skin that’s difficult to break through. And also sharp claws and strong jaws. The honey badger scares everyone in Africa, but it’s got cousins in North America and Eurasia. Those guys have a bad temper too.

Although it’s difficult to call it a giant, wolverine will not hesitate to attack a bear or an elk. The animal grows no larger than a medium-sized dog. If you offended it... then I don’t envy you. It’s hardy, knows how to swim, and is a fast runner. Wide paws are like snowshoes and don’t allow it to fall into the snow. You can’t hide from a wolverine on a tree either — it climbs with uncanny agility.

The wombat is a cute animal that resembles a fluffy bear. It’s stocky and weighs as much as a German Shepherd. The wombat lives in Australia, where it digs deep holes and has the most original protection in the world. If the enemy tries to get into its underground house, the wombat blocks the entrance with its, um, backside. This part of the body consists of four fused bones. For a wombat, it’s a sort of shield, and it’s difficult for a predator to bite through it. The animal is peaceful, but it has poor eyesight and, well, isn’t very smart. If it thinks you’re posing a threat, it will attack.

The Indian gray mongoose is a real champion when it comes to fighting cobras. During the fight, it’s beautiful, and dances so fast that the snake doesn’t have time to react to tricks. Cobra gets tired and decides to run away as soon as possible. The animal is protected from cobra fangs by its thick fur and immunity to cobra venom. Mongooses are relatives of cats and are popular pets in India. The animals love to sit on their owner’s lap but retain a wild character. In nature, mongooses rarely attack people, but if cornered, they become unpredictable.

Nobody knows how many rats there are on the planet exactly, but at least twice as many as us humans. These are amazing animals that can laugh, dream, and feel stress. They live in packs and can hunt prey dozens of times larger than themselves. Scientists have found rat bite marks on the ribs of dinosaurs that are 75 million years old. They also have kings. They don’t wear crowns, though. It’s the name for several rats whose tails are tied in a knot. The largest king ever recorded consisted of 32 animals.

Possums have been around since the days of the dinosaurs. Their acting skills helped them survive to this day. As soon as danger appears nearby, this hero rarely rushes into the fray, but it doesn’t run away either. It falls to the ground and starts, well, playing possum. It doesn’t move at all and even slows down its breath and heartbeat. I’m sure this animal deserves an Oscar. For realism, the actor releases a scent. It’s so bad that predators would rather stay hungry than approach a possum.

The animal has no control over its acting ability. It’s a natural response to stress. Possums aren’t aggressive, but if cornered, they growl, their fur stands on end, and they show their teeth — small but razor-sharp. You won’t call solenodon a nice guy. You can recognize it by red hair, a Pinocchio nose, and a hairless long tail. It’s got sharp teeth and special glands in its mouth that make the saliva toxic. Surprisingly, the animal has no immunity against its own venom. That’s why it’s really careful while grooming.

Solenodons are aggressive by nature. If it gets bored, it gets angry, grunts like a pig, and can lunge at anyone in the vicinity. Luckily, its toxic saliva isn’t harmful to humans. Pygmy jerboa is the smallest rodent on Earth. It looks like a baby kangaroo and weighs a little more than a penny. The largest is a capybara, and it’s difficult to look at it without a smile. But this isn’t the limit! Millions of years ago, a rodent the size of an African buffalo lived on the planet. Phoberomys ate plants and resembled both a hippo and an overgrown guinea pig at the same time.

Now, the next animal would easily win the first prize for the Most Unusual Rodent on the Planet. This monster is a naked mole-rat. And yes, it’s naked and lives underground. Its appearance is too much even for a rodent. Most of all, the mole-rat looks like a sausage from a horror movie. But that’s not the point. On average, a rodent of this size lives for 2-3 years. A naked mole-rat lives in the wild for 30 years. Imagine if people could live to be 1,000 years old. For a rodent, 30 is much the same. Scientists believe that perhaps this unsightly digger will help humanity solve the problem of aging.

One family can have up to 300 naked mole-rats. In the concrete-hard African soil, they dig cities the size of 6 football fields. People don’t meet these rats. They rarely come to the surface and drink no water. These rodents get moisture from plant roots.