Moms Explain Why They Often Don’t Let Their Loved Ones Visit Their Newborn
When someone we know has a baby, especially if it’s a close relative, our first instinct is to go visit the newborn and congratulate the parents. We want to see this cute little creature, bring gifts, and chat with the mother about how she’s been doing. Though most of us do this with the best of intentions, some mothers would actually prefer to spend some time alone with the baby.
We at Bright Side understand how hard it is to be a new mom, and we value their privacy. That’s why we’d like to tell you the reasons they sometimes decide to not let anyone see their newborn.
1. They show up unannounced.
Some people show up without calling in advance and expect the new parents to drop everything and show them their newborn. They most definitely have enough on their plate, so an unexpected visitor just adds more stress to their life and disrupts whatever order they have managed to establish so far.
Apart from that, people forget that newborns have a very different schedule. So they might come in right at the time when the baby needs to be fed, and thus distract the parents. Or the baby might be sleeping along with the mother, and those precious moments of sleep could be lost.
2. They stay too long.
Even if someone tells the parent they are coming, they might still forget that things don’t work the way that they used to anymore. So if they would usually spend an hour chatting with their friends or family members, they might think it’s okay to do the same even with a newborn present.
But the parents need to keep a schedule, especially because they’re still adjusting to it. So they might decide that it would be better to not have guests at all, rather than to spend their time dealing with those who overstay their welcome.
3. They come, even if they are sick.
Some people get so excited about the newborn, that they forget how fragile they are. They might think a mild cold might not do the baby any harm and still come to see them. So, naturally, mothers decide their newborn’s health is more important than someone’s desire to see them.
Even if someone healthy comes to visit, there’s still a chance that the baby could catch something. Some people see how cute the baby is, and want to kiss them on the check, or hold their hand. To spare some time trying to explain to their guests why they shouldn’t do this, mothers might find it easier to just not let them see the baby at all.
4. They give unsolicited advice.
It’s hard enough to be a new mother, but it’s even harder if there’s someone always telling them how to do things better. They’re starting a new chapter in their life, and they want to figure it out for themselves. If they need any help, they will ask.
And if someone gives them advice that’s uncalled for, it undermines their role as a parent. So when moms keep their baby and themselves away from these people, they do it to preserve their mental health.
5. They ask intrusive questions.
Though it’s probably well-intentioned, sometimes the friends and family members of a new mom can be a bit insensitive with the questions they ask. Whether they’re concerned about the mother’s health or just curious, moms might feel like they’re being judged or like their personal space is being disrespected. And they just don’t want to have to explain themselves or discuss in detail the hardships of raising a child.
6. Moms just need some time alone.
Mothers need time to recover, both physically and emotionally. And to do that the right way, they need to rest, and they don’t want any disturbances. They also might not like the way they look after childbirth, and they don’t want anyone to see them like that.
How long did you wait before you let your friends and family see the newborn? What should people who want to visit new parents and their baby know before going? Please share your thoughts in the comments!