Bright Side

12 Ways We Ruin Our Reputation and Don’t Even Know It

Every person wants to be respected and valued by their family, friends, and colleagues. But sometimes, we ruin all of the efforts we’ve put into building our reputation with careless words or behavior that seems totally harmless. The people around us interpret these signals in their own ways.

We at Bright Side decided to think about the situations where a person devalues themselves without even noticing.

1. Emotional blackmail

These questions are considered to be emotional blackmail and they make people confirm what they already said. It usually annoys people, even though they don’t notice it. Try to watch what you’re saying and replace “Seriously?” with something more appropriate.

2. Hypocrisy in explaining oneself

If you are going to say “no” to a person, do it carefully, but be straightforward. If you start to praise the person and explain how great they are, it will only make the situation worse.

3. Trying to get rid of all the responsibility

Here we are talking about the people who are “never to blame.” They try to escape from any suspicions before they are even accused of anything. Besides, this behavior means that the person is really insecure. They are not trusted and not respected for their inability to take responsibility.

4. Acting insulted all the time

A person that always acts insulted or jealous for no reason is no longer considered to be equal to others. They are treated as a child that can’t control their own emotions. It also shows insecurity, which not good at all.

5. Talking about someone else’s problems and ignoring your own

There are people that don’t like to talk about their problems, and that is their right. But if you want to talk about your problems, it’s okay. And don’t be afraid of telling people that try to unload their problems on you, because you will get tired of that and people will get used to you being the listener.

6. Not taking your own feelings seriously

Sometimes, we don’t take our own feelings and emotions as seriously as we should and we don’t open up to other people. But if we did actually share our problems with others, it might make us feel calm. Those that don’t talk about their emotions seem very strong and people start to think that there’s no need to take their feelings into account.

7. Using the word “usually” as an excuse

We use this word to try and make our errors seem not as serious. But in fact, these excuses look pathetic and they only irritate people. It’s better to apologize for your mistakes without a lot of excuses.

8. Not respecting your own wishes

If someone constantly ignores their own wishes and needs because of insecurity or someone else’s problems, other people will also start to ignore their wishes. Do what you want to do if it’s not a problem for other people.

9. Being unhappy about something all the time

We all get tired and irritated from time to time, but there are people that are always in this state. Nobody wants to be friends with people like this. Negativity doesn’t attract people. Also, these people are unhappy “children” that are hard to communicate with.

10. Doling out generalized accusations

Sometimes, in the middle of an argument, we might say something silly. But we should think very carefully about what we want to say. Be specific and explain how you feel. General accusations sound like you have nothing to say, but you just want an argument.

11. Talking derogatorily about yourself

The seemingly harmless words we say when we talk to our friends can devalue us in the eyes of other people. Besides, our own self-esteem might take a hit. Try not to use the words like “pig,” “fat,” “I’m dumb,” and other words like these.

12. Using phrases people are really tired of

The people you’re talking to have probably heard these words hundreds of times, so they don’t really mean anything. It’s irritating to hear something like that and it just means that you probably don’t know what else to say. So, if you have nothing else to say, don’t say anything. It’s better than saying something just to say it.

Have you ever noticed this behavior in people you know? Tell us about situations where you devalued yourself without even realizing it.