Psychologists Revealed 10 Simple Truths That Determine How Long a Relationship Will Last
Any relationship is a risk, and we would all like to understand at the very beginning how strong and happy it will be. But it’s impossible to predict this in the early stages. Still, there are many signs that show that the relationship of a couple is harmonious and will last a long time. Gleb Tsipursky, Ph.D., is a cofounder of a noncommercial organization dealing with the propaganda of rational thinking and a wise approach to making decisions, and he outlined them.
We at Bright Side decided to share these signs to help you understand how long-lasting your relationships will be and if it is worth fighting for them in critical situations. At the end of the article, there is a bonus waiting for you. It will reveal an unusual feature of almost all couples.
10. Behavior in stressful situations
Sometimes we face a situation that pulls the rug from under our feet. It can be something small and insignificant or a big and important event that requires an immediate reaction. In any of these situations, it’s important that you and your partner complement each other.
It will help both of you to avoid rash actions and overly slow reactions. For example, if you are impulsive and “explosive” in stressful situations, a calm and balanced partner will help you make the right decisions instead of jumping to instant and incorrect conclusions while being overtaken by emotions.
9. Ways of thinking
You and your partner are both adult and self-sufficient individuals, each of whom has his own opinion, preferences, and views. These views can be similar or completely different. It’s important for you to understand that the thoughts and feelings of your partner are not identical to yours.
Never make decisions for both of you, and don’t pretend that you can easily read your partner’s mind. It’s wrong! Asking questions and getting answers is the key to a healthy and harmonious relationship.
This point follows on from the previous one. Don’t expect your partner to start reading your thoughts. Be open and honest with your close ones, and share your feelings and worries with them.
For example, if you want to hug someone, tell him about it instead of waiting for him to guess what you want. But keep in mind that you are only responsible for voicing your request or wish. Your partner can act as per his will, taking into account his needs and desires.
7. Personal space
If you always spend your time together, then all common activities will eventually become a routine, and your partner will become a part of this routine too.
You should encourage each other to develop hobbies, and find points of contact in them as well. Spare 1-2 days a week when you can do something unusual and interesting together. Scientists came to the conclusion that the happy memories you create with your partner help to keep a relationship strong.
6. Life plans
Your goals, wishes, and aspirations in life shouldn’t be identical. However, it would be great if your partner’s definition and understanding of success were similar to yours to some extent.
If you are planning to keep building your career until you are 40 but your partner dreams of having 3 children as soon as possible, then obviously you will have many debates in your family life. That’s why it’s important to discuss your life priorities as soon as possible.
5. Relationships with friends
Friends are an important part of any person’s life, and refusing them means losing something vital. This is why a loving partner will always treat your friends with respect, even if they don’t like them very much.
This type of behavior is an indicator of matureness and caring about a beloved person.
4. Relationships with relatives
Relatives are probably an even more important part of our lives than our friends. That’s why good relationships with your partner’s family are the key to a good relationship between the 2 of you.
If you constantly quarrel with the parents of your wife or husband, it will become a reason for conflicts between you and your partner as well.
3. Healthy conflicts
Speaking of quarrels, healthy conflicts can be a part of a healthy relationship. If you are dating someone and have plans to never quarrel, it is likely that the first debate will bring your coupling to a breakup.
Instead, try to understand the strategies that help resolve conflicts, and discuss them with your partner.
2. Celebrating successes
There is nothing worse than living with a person who diminishes your achievements and doesn’t care about your success at all.
In harmonious and happy couples, partners feel happy for the successes of each other and inspire each other to achieve new goals.
Remembering to dot the i’s and cross the t’s is all well and good, but don’t forget about compromises. If you do not concede to your loved one in small things (and vice versa), then you are going to have many unhealthy conflicts and a breakup may be the result.
Bonus: the type of relationship that is set for success
People can describe relationships and love differently. But there are at least 2 types of relationship that combine most of the ideas of love:
- Type 1: “perfect unity”
- Type 2: “love-travel”
In the first case, partners see each other as “ideal second halves.” They may think they were made for each other. In the second case, the lovers don’t outline their similarities and differences but the events they’ve lived through together, hand in hand.
And scientists believe that couples of the second type have a much higher chance of building a harmonious and long-lasting relationship because they are ready for the difficulties waiting for them and do not expect their partner to be ideal.
These 10 signs are markers that show your relationship is going to be harmonious and strong. But you should always keep in mind that your happiness depends on you too!
Tell us which rules and conditions, in your opinion, should be followed to have stable and long-lasting relationships.
Illustrated by Ekaterina Gapanovich for BrightSide.me