10 Warning Signs That You Might Be in a Toxic Relationship

It can feel like your entire world is collapsing when you’re in a committed relationship and you finally get around to saying those three golden words, “I love you,” only to be met with a “thank you” or even just an awkward quiet. You may begin to wonder if your partner is as honest and open as you believe. Their reluctance to communicate their emotions might be a clue for you to stand back and assess the situation. Perhaps it’s time to take a fresh look at your relationship and figure out what you need from one another.

1. They can’t seem to stop mentioning their ex.

It’s possible that your partner isn’t fully over their ex, and you might just be filling the role of a rebound. If they frequently bring up their ex or, worse, draw comparisons between you and them, it’s a strong indication that their heart and minds are still entangled in the past. This suggests that your relationship might be serving as a distraction, with your partner possibly using it to boost their self-esteem after their previous relationship ended.

Another red flag is if they consistently avoid making eye contact. Just because they hug you back or stay physically close doesn’t mean they’re mentally and emotionally present. Their reluctance to look you in the eyes could leave you questioning whether something is wrong in the relationship or doubting if you’ve done something to push them away.

2. They seem intent on reshaping who you are.

In any relationship, there may be traits you don’t love about each other. However, in a fake and toxic relationship, your partner is more likely to try to change the things they dislike about you. They might ask you to sacrifice parts of yourself just to meet their expectations and satisfy their needs. This shows that they prioritize themselves over the relationship, putting their own desires above their connection. If you don’t comply with their demands, it could lead to serious conflict, leaving you feeling pressured to conform to their standards.

3. Their affection feels stronger on social media than behind closed doors.

Constantly posting pictures to show off your relationship on Instagram can be a sign of insecurity. If your partner is only loving and attentive around friends but distant when you’re alone, it’s a red flag. True affection shouldn’t vanish once you’re behind closed doors. It might mean your partner cares more about putting on a show for others than building a real connection.

Your partner may judge their happiness by how successful your relationship looks online. Positive comments about your relationship can make them feel happy, as they equate your relationship’s success with its social media image.

4. They’re always trying to impress others.

Nowadays, social media isn’t the only way your partner can show off. They might also flaunt their expensive clothes or insist on dining at lavish, upscale restaurants and bars. If you’re not willing to spend a lot on these outings, it could even lead to arguments. Their so-called feelings might start to fade if you don’t cater to their extravagant lifestyle, revealing that their affection may be tied to material expectations.

5. Your conversations feel as lively as a brick wall.

A healthy, deep relationship requires both partners to be open to talking about themselves and the world around them. However, your partner doesn’t start a conversation unless they need something from you. And even when you try to initiate a discussion, they seem completely uninterested in what you say. There is no progression in subjects, and even the topics you touch on are super boring and short.

6. You feel like a child because of them.

No one likes being talked down to like a child, especially by their partner. Whether it happens in public or private, it can leave you feeling embarrassed and small. This kind of behavior is disrespectful and can make you feel unvalued. If your partner treats you this way, it shows a lack of the respect you deserve.

7. They show little interest in finding solutions together.

Conflicts and disagreements are common in relationships, and work from both partners is required to resolve them. You both need to accept your responsibilities and meet somewhere in the middle. However, your partner isn’t interested in doing any of that, and they just walk away, waiting for the storm to calm down. They simply don’t care about listening to your worries.

Not only that, but they seem like they don’t care about your feelings and how they might have hurt you. A loving partner should be concerned about you and how their actions affect you negatively. You shouldn’t be poking to get a response that doesn’t solve anything.

8. They don’t leave you personal space.

If someone wants to spend time with you, they will either create the time or, if they can’t, will explain that they are busy. Positive indicators in a relationship include frequent meetings and regular communication.

Conversely, it could be a sign of possessiveness and incapacity to tolerate discomfort if your partner becomes upset when you make plans without them or find it difficult to spend time alone. Relationships require personal space because, without it, you cannot develop as a person apart from your spouse.

9. They use jokes to manipulate you.

The secret to overcoming our imperfections is to not take ourselves too seriously. We are all flawed. Laughter is often the best medicine. It’s a sign of love and acceptance when you and your spouse can laugh together teasingly at each other’s flaws.

But, you shouldn’t ignore persistently hurtful jokes about your fears since they might be a means for your partner to diminish your value and establish an unequal power dynamic in your relationship. It’s a serious red flag if you confront them about it and they still won’t stop.

10. They refuse to communicate.

If your partner won’t argue, it might mean they don’t think the issue is worth it. When they shut down conversations or say, “I don’t want to argue about this,” it can come across as them thinking they’re always right or not caring about your opinion. This can make you feel ignored and unimportant. They don’t have to argue, but they should at least listen to what you have to say.

If you are keen on learning more about psychology, you can learn about parenting habits that used to be unthinkable in the past but are a norm today.