9 Signs You Have a True, Not Toxic Love

When people experience the feeling of love, their dopamine levels surge to such an extent that it feels almost like a transcendent experience. This sensation is amplified when the feeling is mutual — they often feel invincible, as if nothing can touch them. However, at times, what seems like love might actually be lust or infatuation, which may not develop into true love and eventually fade. Understanding the difference between these emotions can help prevent heartache for both parties.

1. You want to be with them all the time, and you get nervous.

You want to be with them all the time, and you don’t care what you do during that time, as long as you are together. You call them, message them, and generally try to find ways to be close to them as often as possible. Even after you’ve spent an entire evening together, you might feel like the time you had together wasn’t enough. And you don’t care if they are cranky or sad during your time, since you get to be near them.

Also, every time you meet with them, you are nervous, and your heart beats really fast and loud. If you haven’t said your “I love you” just yet, you are anxious to know how they feel about you. You are also nervous about what the future holds for you and if the relationship will have a big future. It is a mystery that you can’t know the solution to, and that keeps you constantly worried.

2. You open up

We all feel vulnerable in our relationships, but it’s difficult to build a strong one without sharing your thoughts and feelings. If he’s ready to overcome the fear of rejection and be open with you about his fears and problems, he trusts you and can see a future with you. And this works both ways: he’s interested in knowing the real you, not just the pretty armor you may have been putting on.

3. Your relationship comes very easy to you and you feel safe.

When we say that a relationship comes easy, we mean that you don’t have to struggle to find time for each other. You find time, even if you don’t have a lot, just because you want to see the other person. And even when you disagree or have fights, you find ways to resolve them, since you put your relationship over your ego and pride. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose the fight, since all you want is to be with that person.

Not only that, but you also feel safe with them, like you can fully trust them with your heart. Your nerves probably relax when you see them, even if you just had the worst day at work. You feel like you can share your vulnerable parts with them, since you trust that they won’t hurt you.

4. You get a bit jealous of other people in their lives.

It’s completely normal to feel a bit jealous when you see other people around your love interest and wonder about the nature of their relationships. It’s okay to ask about certain people and their connection to your partner — they could be very important to them or just an acquaintance. Not everyone in your partner’s circle is a threat.

However, if your jealousy starts to exceed a healthy level, and you find yourself going through their phone or keeping track of their every move, that’s a red flag. This kind of behavior is toxic and can create significant issues in the relationship. Remember, you can’t monitor your partner every second of the day — you’re both individuals with lives outside of the relationship.

5. You want your friends and family to meet them.

When a relationship is real and mature, it is very normal that you want to take your new love to meet your friends and family. Everything feels so exciting for you that you want to share that part of your life with the people that have always been there for you. Also, their opinion is important to you, and you want them to like that new person in your life.

6. You’re more aware of how your behavior affects each other.

We all have our patterns of behavior and don’t always fully understand how they affect other people. If you notice that your partner is becoming more self-aware and is trying to behave in a way so that you won’t get hurt or disappointed, this is a good sign. But keep in mind that if you’re concerned about something or want him to act differently, it’s better to have a conversation and not expect him to understand it on his own. Your man can’t read your mind, right?

7. You notice small details.

We all love grand gestures, but it’s the little things that matter the most. For example, he remembers your favorite ice cream flavor, a stupid TV-show you watch when you’re sad, or the name of your very first pet. These things show that he cares enough to go beyond the stereotypical things like flowers and candy (but we still love them) and engage with you on a more personal level.

8. You agree to disagree.

Conflicts are only natural in any relationship — and are even needed to maintain a healthy relationship. Disagreeing on certain issues demonstrates that you are 2 different individuals with different viewpoints, yet you still manage to be together and find reasons to love each other.

You may have your own views as separate people, but you must also remember that you are a couple. According to an expert, the key here is to listen to each other without judgment and decide on compromises together. At the end of the day, “working together to find new ways to connect and enjoy each other is what being in a healthy relationship is all about.”

9. You stay you amidst the “us.”

While there is a “we” and an “us” in a relationship, a flourishing relationship is one where 2 people identify as a couple, yet keep their own identity to remain their individual selves. Solo experiences allow you to grow and reflect on your personal life, which can also benefit your relationship and the connection you have with your spouse or partner.

Regardless of the new and different roles you assume in your life, you are still an individual. In order for you and your partner to continue holding on to your identities, you must respect each other’s boundaries, be patient, and constantly communicate. This means giving each other time and space, not only together but also apart.

Being in a happy long-term relationship can be tricky for many people as you need to take steps back often and listen to your partner empathetically. These tips will give you an idea of how a successful relationship survives through the years.