A Woman Who Had Her First Child at 58 Shares Why Late Motherhood Is the ’’Best Decision’’
When Carolyne Ness was denied IVF in her own country for being ’’too old’’ at 58, she decided to go to India and adopt an embryo. This is how she got pregnant and gave birth to her son, Javed, by C-section in 2017. Today, the 64-year-old single mama is so grateful for her unique motherhood journey, and she explains why becoming a mom at a later stage in life has worked well for her.
Carolyne never thought she’d be an older single mom
Even though she is very happy now, Ness admitted, ’’Having a baby just shy of my 60th would never have been my first choice when I was younger.’’
She also explained that being a single mom was her ’’worst nightmare,’’ but she got to a stage where she realized that time was slipping away from her and that she ’’would regret’’ it if she didn’t try.
Life doesn’t always go according to plan.
Carolyn’s dream to become a mom began 30 years before her embryo adoption. But throughout her adult life, she faced challenges that prevented her from making her life goal a reality.
She noted, ’’In my 30s, I discovered that I had fertility issues,’’ but as she and her partner started to consider IVF, their relationship was already on the verge of ending, so they ’’didn’t want to bring a child into that.’’ After her divorce, Ness just didn’t find the right guy to have a child with. She even thought about adoption but gave up when she realized that the whole process might take years.
Embryo adoption was the perfect option for her.
Luckily, shortly before turning 58, she found out about embryo adoption, where a frozen embryo is adopted rather than the child, once he or she is born. This process would also allow Carolyn to experience pregnancy and childbirth, which is something she’d always wanted to do.
But given that women over 55 aren’t eligible for embryo adoption in Australia, Carolyn had to travel to India, where the age limit was 58.
Her dream finally turned into a reality.
That’s how Carolyn got the treatment just before her 58th birthday. And even though she was really wishing for a positive result, she didn’t want to get her hopes up too much and thought to herself, ’’I’ve tried my best, and if it’s meant to be, it will happen.’’
Once she got back home, Carolyn was over the moon when her blood test confirmed her pregnancy. Months later, she gave birth to her healthy boy named Javed who was born through a cesarean. Javed was conceived using the egg of a 21-year-old Indian woman and the sperm from an American donor.
She’s proud to be Javed’s mom.
The 64-year-old, who is proud to be an older mom, declared, ’’I have nothing to be ashamed of after all.’’ She adds that Javed, who is now a healthy 5-year-old, hasn’t noticed that his own mama is older than his friends’ mothers.
On the other hand, Carolyn admits that all he says ’’is that he wants a dad.’’ She also acknowledges that being a single mom is a ’’struggle.’’
The perks of being an older mom
Although she’s been deemed by some as ’’selfish’’ for having a child at a later stage, Ness believes that it has been a blessing for both her and her son. She noted that now she has way more patience and maturity than in her younger years.
The beaming mom also shared, ’’I got to travel the world and see amazing things that a lot of younger moms have to give up earlier.’’
For all these reasons, Ness doesn’t believe that a woman in her 50s is too old to have a kid.
She also shared that having Javed ’’was the best decision I ever made’’ because she ’’can’t imagine missing out on this incredible life I have to share.’’ She added, ’’I have at least a good 20 years left in me to do so.’’
If you enjoyed reading about Carolyne’s journey, then you might also like these articles: