He Wanted an Open Marriage—Now He Regrets Every Second of It

Some couples choose open marriages for a variety of reasons, and in certain cases, this kind of arrangement can even benefit a family. But it’s not a one‑size‑fits‑all solution, and it certainly doesn’t work for everyone.

One of our readers, 33‑year‑old Samantha, shared a story that quickly became a lesson about boundaries, trust, and respect. As someone who deeply values monogamy, she had no interest in sharing her husband with anyone else. Yet he kept pressing the issue, until life itself stepped in to teach him a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget.

Here’s what Samantha wrote:

Hi, Bright Side!

I’m 33, and I used to think that by this age I’ve achieved everything a woman might dream of. I have a happy family with my beloved husband, Steve, 39. We run a successful business together, we have a very nice house and what’s most heartwarming is that we have 2 absolutely adorable kids.

Our life has been awesome, up until one day, when my husband, Steve, decided that he wanted a change in our relationship and came forward with an absolutely wild idea, which I hated from the very start.

A complex decision that Samantha couldn’t say “no” to.

My husband said he’d leave me if I didn’t agree to an open marriage. ’We need this,’ he said. I hate the idea, but I caved. I wanted to save our 15-year relationship. I love him, I was open to doing anything to help. We both started dating other people.

Then one of my partners sparked total chaos. All because he sent me nice flowers and an expensive ring with a pretty big diamond. I must say that before that, Steve bought presents for his side partners, and I knew about that, so it seemed like everything was fair between us. We both were free to choose our partners, and we both were fine with the signs of attention that accompanied our side relationship.

But for some reason, the flowers and the ring that I got as a present from another man made Steve extremely mad.

Steve had no idea it was all part of Samantha’s plan.

Steve got totally mad after he saw the flowers and the ring. He blamed me and called me an absolutely bad mother to our kids. He said that it’s totally inappropriate that some stranger knows my address and orders a delivery to my house, where our kids also live. Steve claimed that I didn’t think of our kids’ safety.

Then, he literally started crying. He was blaming me for all sins in the world. When I tried to object, saying that he was seeing other women as well, he didn’t even want to listen. I never saw him crying, like, with tears in his eyes. But this time he was smashed, broken and absolutely helpless.

And now let me tell you that this was part of my plan.

Samantha took this opportunity to show her husband the true value of loyalty.

All this time, while Steve was having side relationships with other women, I remained faithful to him. I only pretended that I had other men in my life. But I had a plan, and part of it was to show my husband that he’s not irreplaceable and that sooner or later, there will be a man in my life, who will treat me like a princess.

I didn’t share my home address with any other man. I bought these flowers myself and arranged the delivery. The ring was borrowed from my grandma, it was our family heirloom ring and I knew it was very expensive.

Now, Steve insists that we must return to a monogamous marriage. But I don’t want him to feel relaxed now. I recently told him that I really liked the idea of an open relationship.

Now, my dear husband is putting all his efforts and energy into persuading me that we totally must treat this open relationship as his own stubborn mistake. And it brings me satisfaction to see him trying to win my love again. I think it was worth it. What would you do if you were me?

Samantha, here’s our advice for a clearer path forward:

• Trust your gut. If an open marriage doesn’t align with your values, don’t force yourself into it just to save a relationship.
• Set boundaries and stand firm. Make sure both partners respect the limits you agree upon and honor your right to say no.
• Prioritize open communication. Be honest about your feelings, fears, and needs, and expect the same in return.
• Recognize your worth. You deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and loyalty, where you’re cherished, not manipulated.
• Evaluate the future. Decide if this relationship, as it stands, is worth continuing, or if it’s time to move towards a path that truly fulfills you.

If you’re up for more powerful reminders of how messy and complicated relationships can become when the boundaries of loyalty are tested, check out this next article and learn how couples navigate this emotional journey.