I Banned Screens for a Week With My Grandkids—My DIL Lost It

Grandparents want the best for their grandchildren. Despite the generational gap, they try to cater to their needs and shower them with the love they deserve. Nancy, a grandmother, is in a dilemma for doing what she thinks is best for her grandkids. She’s now wondering if she went out of the line.

It was a request.

This happened a few days ago, and I’m still reeling from the backlash. But I’m torn between feeling justified and doubting my decision, so I thought I’d share it and get some opinions.

My daughter-in-law and son dropped off their two kids with me last week for a whole week. They would go on a quick break vacation, and while I adore my grandkids, I was a little nervous about how things would go. I’ve had them for a couple of days here and there, but it was never a whole week.

When they arrived, it didn’t take long for me to notice something. The kids were glued to their phones, barely looking up from the screens. I get that kids these days are into their gadgets, but it was honestly a little ridiculous.

Lance (9) was playing games nonstop, and Lea (12) was texting her friends. I tried talking to them a few times, asking if they wanted to play a game, read, or do something together, but they just shrugged and went back to their screens.

The first day gave a worrying realization.

I could tell my DIL didn’t even bat an eye when I said something about it. She just smiled and said, “They’re good. Just let them be.”

But something about it didn’t sit right with me. I was trying to give them some space, but I couldn’t help but feel that they weren’t really spending time with me, or even with each other. It was just a silent, digital wall between us.

I asked them to help me with simple chores on the first day, but the responses I got were, “Wait,” “I’m busy.” It’s their summer vacation, so they don’t have schoolwork to be busy about. They’re just on their phones for hours, it is worrying since they also use their phone when eating.

As a concerned grandma, she made a decision.

So, I decided to take action. I made a rule: No screens for a week.

I know it may be a bit harsh, but it felt like the right thing to do. I told them, “We’re going to have a no-screen week. No phones, no tablets, no TV unless it’s family movie night. We’re going to spend time together, and I want you to find something else to do.”

They weren’t thrilled, of course. Lea was upset and tried to hide her phone, and Lance sulked for a while. But then, something amazing happened: they actually started interacting. They played board games, we did puzzles, we baked cookies, and I even took them to the park for some fresh air.

They started talking to each other more, laughing, and even coming up with their own activities. We went on bike rides, had long chats, taught them simple house chores, and I saw a spark in them that I hadn’t seen in a while.

She thought everything was smooth sailing.

Honestly, it felt wonderful. I felt like I was actually connecting with them in a way I never had before, and it seemed like they were genuinely enjoying themselves. I had forgotten how enjoyable it can be to simply live in the moment without distractions.

On the fourth day, my DIL barged in through the front door. She went straight up to me and shouted, “You had no right to do this!” I was taken aback. I thought I was doing something positive.

Apparently, Lea had texted her using her friend’s phone when they visited to play. She texted that they were “cut off” and “bored all the time.” My DIL didn’t take it kindly. She shouted and accused me of “sabotaging their routine,” and of being “old-fashioned and stubborn.”

She even said that I was “ruining their ability to be independent.” I tried to explain that I was just trying to make them spend some quality time together, without all the distractions, but she didn’t want to hear it. She just kept calling me out for not respecting their “normal routine.”

It was saddening for her to receive such a reaction.

I admit, it stung a little. She made me feel like I was out of touch with how things “should” be. But deep down, I felt like I had done the right thing.

The kids were playing together again. We were interacting. They were outside, getting fresh air, instead of sitting on their phones all day. My son stayed quiet through the whole thing, but I could tell he didn’t agree with his wife either.

My DIL left in a huff, and I was left sitting there wondering if I had overstepped. Was I wrong for taking control of the situation? I thought I was just trying to give my grandkids a break from their screens, but now I feel like I’m the one who’s being punished for it.

Am I being unreasonable here, or did I do the right thing?

A message you might need.

It might be a situation where it is hard to navigate whether you crossed some boundaries or not. But we’ve seen that you were being present, intentional, and loving in a way that too often gets overlooked. Your decision at that moment was thoughtful and out of care, based on your observation, the outcome speaks for itself.

Parenting and grandparenting live in a delicate balance, one that sometimes means clashing perspectives. It’s okay to feel torn. You may consider that your DIL’s reaction came from a place of protection, maybe even a bit of guilt or defensiveness, to help you grasp your situation more deeply.

Let’s look at the bright side. Think of the meaningful week you spent with your grandkids. What you gave your grandkids was a gift. You didn’t take something away from them; you gave them space to reconnect, to be kids, and to feel truly seen.

Going forward, maybe there’s room for gentler communication with your daughter-in-law, just to avoid future hurt feelings. But don’t doubt the heart behind your actions. You did something bold and beautiful. You reminded them what it feels like to be fully present. And that matters more than any screen ever will.

In another story, Mary, a loving wife and a mother of a newborn, is in a frustrating situation that left her thinking of the worst-case scenario. Read more at this link.