There’s probably a constant battle between those who prefer to keep as much anonymous in social networks as they can, and those whose lives are like on the palm of a hand, visible to everyone on the Internet. Our today’s heroine is a woman, who’s experiencing this battle with her own husband, who wants to post videos with their daughter on his social media. But the woman prefers not to reveal her kid’s identity and is really anxious about such videos. She took to Reddit to ask for people’s advice and told her full story that made people comment vigorously on the subject.
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The woman recently turned to Reddit to ask people’s opinion on whether she’s overreacting to her partner’s idea.
She began her story, saying, «I (30f) and my fiancé (31m) currently have a 2-year-old. We also are expecting our second in just a couple of weeks. Fiancé has always wanted to make YouTube videos, and recently TikTok and other shorts videos. He never really started bc he couldn’t decide what the ‘theme’ of his channel would be...but I’ve known for quite a few years it’s been a ‘goal’ for him.»
The woman has never been negative towards her future husband’s hobby. Until one day. It all started with an innocent idea.
She said, «Recently he’s pitched the idea that he wants to make funny parenting skits. I think it’s a great idea bc honestly our daughter says/does some of the most hilarious things.»
At first, the woman was quite supportive of her partner’s hobby, but when she found out the details, she changed her mind.
The OP explained, «I imagined he meant like he would play both (if not all) parts of the characters in these videos. Like dress up and pretend to be our kid, himself, me, etc. But no. He said that our daughter would be our daughter in them. I don’t like this idea. I told him, ‘No, I don’t want her all over the internet like that.’»
Her partner’s reaction was outrageous. The woman shared, «He quickly got offended and defensive. Telling me I need to chill out and ‘what if I get famous?!’ I told him that is literally child exploitation. He scoffed at me then began to tell me I need to start recognizing that she is his child too so he can parent how he wants. »
The woman gave an extra explanation to her fears for her kid’s privacy.
She said, «He’s referring to me also requesting he not posts our kids’ pictures on FB or IG. I only asked this because he literally adds anyone and everyone on FB, even if he doesn’t know them, just to get a large friends list. Same with IG, and a lot of his following are random people from his multiple discords. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m a very private (and yeah possibly paranoid) person... he is the exact opposite.»
The family relationship suffers its first crack because of this misunderstanding.
The OP shared, «Anyways 2 days later, and it’s still causing a weird tension as he’s set on this idea. I’m so not okay with this. Am I wrong?»
People on Reddit mostly shared the mom’s concerns and supported her.
One person wrote, «Yup. I used to post some cute photos on Facebook of my daughter when she was a baby. Then I started seeing posts of potty training, tantrums, etc. all over the place. I was mortified for those kids, and the long term consequences really dawned on me.
This was 10 years ago, and it’s only gotten worse and even commercialized. Disgusting. Those kids are gonna have a rough time in middle school and high school if their parents don’t have the decency to delete all that things.»
Another person said, «My step niece just posted one of those pass-it-on posts that included the full name, date of birth, place of birth, description of labor etc. for both her kids. I’m not paranoid, but I really wanted to ask her what she thought she was doing. I tried to phrase it as diplomatically as possible.»
Another user added, «If you wouldn’t put it up on your wall at home, don’t put it up on social media I reckon. Even if the parents delete it, it’s still there. That’s the best part — once you’ve published it, it’s findable by an appropriately determined person.»
And here’s a story from a woman, whose partner asked her for a paternity test for their daughter. And she has already made up her mind on what she’ll do when the results come.
