I Don’t Want to Raise the Child My Wife Is Bearing Because She Got Pregnant Through a Donor
Some couples are over the moon when they find out they’re going to have a baby. However, it’s not as bright when one of the partners is temporarily infertile and absolutely unaware of their wife’s pregnancy. This is exactly what happened to our reader. He’ll have to decide whether he’ll raise the child or leave his wife.
One of our readers reached out to us.
Thank you for trusting us with your problem! It’s a difficult situation indeed, and we’re here to help you.
Give yourself some time.
It’s a difficult situation that will require all of your energy to make up your mind. Take some time to process your emotions before trying to have a conversation with your wife. It’s okay to feel shocked, angry and betrayed.
Allow yourself the space to understand your own feelings. Acting on your impulse at this point will probably result in regrets and unnecessary problems. Make the final decision once you’re calm and fully rested.
Decide what matters most to you.
At this point, you have to decide whether to stay with your wife or leave. There’s no point in asking her to choose — she will probably keep the baby and divorce you.
She made her choice, and she might have thought about the fact that you might consider a divorce as well. Even after weighing pros and cons, she still got pregnant. You can’t change her mind, and it’s up to you whether to leave or stay.
Leave if you won’t be able to handle it.
If you don’t fully accept the child, your resentment will inevitably develop. There’s a high chance you might accidentally hurt the child with your words or actions. You know the baby isn’t yours, so decide if you can take care of them like a good father.
You’ll have to be respectful to your wife after what she did without your consent. If you feel you can’t forgive her, it’s time to go.
Try seeking professional help.
If you want to work on this issue in the relationship but don’t know where to start, try couples therapy. You can also consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide a neutral and supportive environment for both of you to express your feelings, understand each other better, and work towards a solution.
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