Dear Bright Side,
I got my dog, Max, a few years ago after a nasty breakup, and he has been a great source of support for me since. When I got married to my husband, there was a discussion about Max, and I explained how much he meant to me, so my husband came to terms with his presence, or so I thought.
Last week we went on a family trip for 7 days with our kids (10 and 12). My stepson, 16, started to pack, but I said, “Stay home and watch Max. I’ll pay you!” He rolled his eyes at me and walked off, so I thought it would be okay.
Before we left, I told my husband that I had asked my stepson to stay behind because I couldn’t find a pet sitter and I didn’t have enough time to book him into a kennel. I also told him that I’d pay my stepson $50 per day to watch Max.
My husband smiled gently and said nothing else for the entire trip. Once we got to our destination, my husband pulled me aside and said, “You really thought this trip would make you feel better?” A sense of fear overwhelmed me, but I wasn’t ready for what he said next.
“Your dog is at the local shelter.” My body went cold, but my husband didn’t stop. He told me that his son called and said he didn’t want to stay home just to take care of my dog, so my husband told him to drop Max off there.
For the first time in years, I had a panic attack. That dog meant everything to me. He helped me through some of my darkest days, and my husband just let him go to a shelter like he meant nothing at all. That was enough for me to destroy everything we had between us.
I think you are selfish, firstly, you accept that man with his son and he did the same with you and your dog, secondly you sound like you didn't like his son:( from the moment that you just said to the boy : stay, watch your dog and I pay you 😤😤😡,if you really love your dog and your family, you should go to a place where the whole family and your dog can be.
As I started crying, my husband looked at me and said, “Maybe now you’ll stop choosing a dog over my child.” That was it. I couldn’t stand looking at him for a second longer. Our vacation, our peace, everything, was gone in a second.
So I grabbed my bag, got on the next plane back home, and took a cab to the shelter where they left Max. Luckily, my boy was still there, and I was able to take him home after explaining the situation. But that didn’t fix the problem between me and my husband.
This morning I received a letter from a lawyer. My husband is filing for divorce. So, Bright Side, did I really just give up my marriage for my emotional support animal? Or is my husband overreacting?
Regards,
Gemma T.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story, Gemma. We understand how difficult this situation must be for you. So we’ve put together a few tips that might help.
Control my ass. You had no intention of including your stepson or there would have been a plane ticket for HIM. I know what it is like to have that kind of connection and love with a dog. They are your children too. However what you did to your stepson was treat him worse than you would have treated a stray. YOU WERE COMPLETELY WRONG AND YOU KNOW IT. I suspect that you KNEW that your husband would be pissed off, but you figured he couldn't do anything about it from far away from home. If your dog was that important, then YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME, and let your TEENAGED SON GO ON THE TRIP. You chose your dog, your husband chose his son. There is NO justification for what you did. I have a feeling that it is not the first time that you have put your dog before your son. You married his father and that makes him (or it should) your son too. I HAVE cancelled events and such because of my animals, but I never treated a child as less important than them. This IS YOUR FAULT NO MATTER HOW YOU FRAME IT. Trying to make yourself look or feel better at the expense of that boy, says a lot about your priorities. Maybe you should have married the dog.
Your husband’s decision to send Max to a shelter wasn’t a misunderstanding. It was a deliberate act of control. He didn’t just disagree with your choice. He wanted to punish you for making a decision he didn’t approve of. That kind of emotional manipulation and disregard for something and someone you love deeply isn’t about a pet; it’s about power. Before questioning if you “gave up your marriage for a dog,” ask whether that marriage was safe, respectful, or emotionally healthy to begin with.
Dog at the shelter? And now a divorce? Serves you right. If you didn't want the 16yr old included then you shouldn't have married his father. Imagine your children's stepmom doing that to them.
You didn’t choose your dog over your husband. You chose compassion, responsibility, and emotional stability over cruelty. Guilt can make you question yourself, especially after such a shocking betrayal. But protecting Max wasn’t selfish. It was an act of self-preservation. Reframe the story in your mind; you didn’t “give up your marriage.” Your husband chose to end it when he weaponized your dog against you.
You’ve been through multiple emotional shocks, betrayal, fear, loss, and now divorce proceedings. Before diving into legal responses or logistics, give yourself space to breathe and process what happened. Whether that means therapy, support groups, or leaning on friends who understand how much Max means to you, stabilize emotionally first. Once you’re grounded again, you’ll be in a much stronger position to handle the divorce and rebuild your life on your terms.
Situations like these are never easy, but they’re even harder when the person you thought you knew turns out to be the complete opposite. Gemma did the right thing by walking away, but her struggles are just beginning.
She isn’t the only one who is having relationship issues, though. Another one of our readers reached out. Read their story here: My Husband Blamed Me for Ruining Our Holiday, and I Served a Sweet Revenge.
First off your story doesn't make sense. You have stated that you got your dog a few years ago after a nasty breakup, yet you and your husband have a 16 yr old (his son from a previous relationship) and the two of you have two children (10 and 12) so you would have been a stepmom to his son since he was 4. What on God's green earth would make you treat your stepson like a second class citizen over a trip that could have been rescheduled, and an animal that could have been placed in a kennel given a different time-frame for your trip. It seems like you know you are/were in the wrong with favoring yourself, your animal and your two younger children over your stepson and his father. He should have filed for a divorce from you immediately. YOU WERE WRONG! I hope you enjoy your life with your pet and your younger children. Hopefully the court will grant HIM full custody of the younger children as he seems to be the more responsible parent in this situation.
The best thing about this is now you're going to get to see what it's like to be the parent watching their child be treated second class. Because now that you're divorced the next person you're with isn't going to be your 10 and 12-year-old's father. That means you'll get to watch when it's your children being pushed aside and left out of things like trips or expected to give up things to stay home and take care of the pet without being asked. I bet you'll change your tune real quick then.
