First of all why the letter? They can't speak? You do what you want to do . Please. I know you are hurt, trust me after hurt comes anger . You are not responsible for your grown son or daughter! I mean no disrespect but they sure are banking on you to bail them out? That's terrible . Please do what's right for you! Btw make sure your lawyer puts in writing that You are of sound mind when making your will . Best of luck to you!
We grow up believing family ties are unbreakable. But at 75, one woman told us how a simple dinner and a single envelope turned her world upside down and completely changed her will.
Hi Bright Side!
I’m 75 years old. I raised my two kids on my own and later adopted Ana. Over the years, as my children built their own busy lives, Ana was the one who stayed close to me, always checking in and helping whenever I needed it.
I had decided long ago that I would share my inheritance equally among all three of them, because in my heart, I never saw any difference between them.
But everything changed during a recent family dinner. My eldest son handed me an envelope. Inside, there was money and a note “suggesting” I move into a nursing home for two months. They even offered to cover the cost. After that, they said they would “see how things went.”
What good would placing you in a home do for your children? Are they dumb? Any money you'd receive for selling the house would immediately be eaten up with the cost of living. But in the end none of that matters because you don't plan on going anywhere {I hope} and leaving your estate to whomever you wish is your perogative.
They also told me I should sell my late husband’s house and give them their share of the money. They said they were drowning in debt and that if they didn’t pay it off soon, it could “cost them their lives.”
I was heartbroken. That night, I told Ana how betrayed I felt by my children and that I had decided to leave everything to her instead. She hesitated and said she was worried about how they would react, but I insisted.
The next day, my children called, apologizing and begging me to reconsider. But I was too hurt to change my mind.
Do you think I made the wrong decision?
Sincerely,
Diane
Your biological children are money grabbers. It's time for them to grow up and do for themselves. Leave it all to Ana the one who truly cares about you. You and not your money.
Diane, thank you for sharing your story with us. You were and will never be wrong to follow your heart and protect yourself. Below, we offer advice on safeguarding your well-being, navigating family pressures, and finding the peace you deserve.
Feeling blindsided is reason enough to pause. You were not wrong to protect yourself after a request that mixed money, pressure, and fear.
Give yourself seven calm days to separate the sting from the decision. Write down what mattered to you before that dinner, what changed in the room, and what still feels true today. Decisions that survive a week of quiet usually age well.
There is one thing you can do that no one in the family can stop. If you designate the house be transferred upon death to a certain individual of your choosing. But there are stipulations to this and I would suggest talking to a lawyer who is familiar with it. Also I do know that it does not have to be in a will.
Meet an elder law attorney with no family present. Ask for a simple package that protects you: a current will, a living trust if helpful, powers of attorney, health care directives, and clear beneficiary designations. Keep the house in your name unless you, not they, want otherwise.
If you keep your new plan that favors Ana, add a short letter explaining your reasons, your love for all three, and that caregiving and consistency influenced your choice. Clarity now lowers future fights.
Never fund someone’s crisis by creating one for yourself. Keep an emergency cushion and your home. If you wish to help, consider small, scheduled gifts that fit your budget, or a written loan with repayment terms.
Tie any larger help to proof of a plan, not to panic. Offer non-cash help first, like meeting a credit counselor together. A real emergency does not require you to surrender your security.
While waiting to cool down run, don't walk, to an attorney. Do whatever you can to protect your money, the deed to your house and your future welfare. Desperate people do desperate things and you need to protect yourself. Until you've done so, you need to go no contact with them.
Additionally, you can leave your estate to whoever you wish. If you decide to disinherit your children and leave everything to your adopted daughter, I suggest you put everything in a trust, with her as the ultimate beneficiary. It's much harder to contest a trust than a Will.
Once you've protected yourself, have your children explain to you, in detail, why they need your money so desperately. Heart surgery? Drug dealers? Loan sharks? Without details, you can't even consider helping and even then, you are under no sense required to do so.
Ask for one mediated conversation, perhaps with a counselor or trusted friend. Say plainly what hurt you and what you expect if you are to reopen your heart or your checkbook. Examples help. No talk of money at family meals. No urgent requests tied to fear.
Any future care decisions must center your wishes, your doctor, and your timeline. If they can honor that, relationships can heal. If they cannot, your boundaries are the love that keeps you safe.
Want more jaw-dropping family drama? Check out why one mom refused to leave her child a single cent.
This seems pretty fake, but just in case ... no worthwhile human would communicate that message, in that way, for that reason. I'm sorry, lady, but your biokids are trash humans. They deserve nothing. Reward your youngest daughter (personally, id never describe someone as adopted ... their just daughters) and cut all contact with the other two. You did a great thing for your youngest, and turned fine, si your biokids failings are likely not your fault.
