I Refuse to Give My Wedding Venue to My Spoiled Sister, I Don’t Care If She’s Pregnant

Many families have that one moment where everything seems to fall apart. For this bride-to-be, years of careful planning and patience turned into chaos when her sister’s surprise announcement suddenly put her dream wedding and her relationship with her family on the line.

She had planned her dream wedding for years.

My fiancé and I have been together for 8 years and engaged for 3. I was doing my PhD program and juggling planning the wedding. My fiancé took much of that work, but it was perfect because our dream venue was booked until after my graduation.

So what we did was book our dream venue 3 years in advance. It is really a beautiful venue. The only slot we got was September of this year.

My sister got engaged a few months ago to her fiancée. They were planning on having a spring wedding next year. They had no venue lined up but had a few vendors lined up as well as a set date.

Yesterday, our parents invited us and our SOs to a family BBQ, where my sister announced to our extended family that she is expecting. Everyone was so happy for her and my BIL (who is a great guy). My Nan asked my sister if the wedding was still on the set date or if they were going to wait because of the baby. She said no, that she hoped to move it to September. NBD.

We don’t have many out-of-town guests, so they could attend both weddings with no problem. Nan was happy and asked my sister if she needed help planning such a short-notice wedding.

My sister then turned around and said, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I was really, really hoping we could kinda like take your venue. I really can not stress myself too much with planning a wedding while going to maternity classes. And I think it is so beautiful! It would really mean a lot to me.”

It went silent. But everyone was looking at me, expecting me to say, “Yes, of course, anything for my little sister!” My BIL looked very uncomfortable and told her that they had talked about this and that it was not okay to put me on the spot. But my sister just said, “Don’t be like that! My sister wants to do what’s best for me, so it’s no big deal, right?”

I just said, “Well, it kind of is. I don’t know. I have my heart really set on the venue.” Cue the crying. She stormed off. Nan told me that I was being selfish because she needed the venue more than I did.

I tried to defend myself, and my mother said, “You waited 3 years. Would it have killed you to wait a few more months? When has your sister ever asked you for something?” A few comments later, my fiancé got really mad, and we left.

My sister called me crying and said that it was unfair that I always get what I want and that I could have done this one thing for her. Dad said it is just a venue and what matters is the person you are marrying. He is kind of right... but we have been planning for so long.

My fiancé is furious with my family and doesn’t even want my sister to come. Now my family is threatening not to come because I am being selfish and my sister needs it more than me because having a baby is too stressful. © paperweightfairy / Reddit

“UPDATE: After I last spoke to my parents, they did not let go of their position. I was the bad guy, I was responsible for my sister’s ‘depression’ and her failing relationship. I had to block my parents and change my number, as they were contacting me from relatives’ phones and so on. My Nan came to my door a few days before the wedding, begging to let her come. I had a long talk with Nan, and she ended up apologizing.

I married my best friend, the love of my life and just my rock. My brother walked me down the aisle. We all cried at the vows... it was just spectacular. Of course, I missed my parents, but it is what it is. My sister is going around telling people that I was the reason BIL broke up with her.”

Reddit users had plenty of advice—here’s what they told her.

• I still find it hilariously sadly ironic that your dad says the venue doesn’t matter, but what matters is who you are marrying. If he believed this, then he would be saying that to your spoiled brat sister not you! I hope, despite the family drama, you are able to enjoy your big day! © feellikebeingajerk / Reddit
• If OP’s sister is reading this, you claim that OP isn’t doing this for you despite being family. Ask yourself, have you been doing your part as her family? She’s been planning this for 3 years, and you want to just take it away from her. Should the family be doing this? © Icedteaaaaa / Reddit
• She didn’t want that venue. She didn’t want YOU to have that venue. © Unknown author / Reddit

• I’m sorry your family is so toxic. You’re definitely in the right here, and your family has no right to act like you’re being a jerk. This is your wedding, and if they are prepared to give up one of the biggest moments you’ve been planning for years because of this, then that shows what type of people they are. You sound lovely, and I’m sorry they have treated you so badly. I think I can speak for most internet people when I say we support you. Stay strong. © alybear567 / Reddit
• At least at your wonderful wedding, you will have some of your family there (and I hope you do invite your sister’s fiancé—without a plus 1, and although your catering won’t be what you planned, you can be happy that every morsel was made with the love and best wishes of people who love you. Personally, I would tell your sister, parents, and grandparents to sod off... if they honestly can’t see how the whole world sees them following the story going viral, you are honestly better off without them, and I wouldn’t trust them not to do something to try and ruin your wedding. © Carrie56 / Reddit

• I hope you don’t have to go low contact or no contact with your family, oh, but it sounds like you have your future in-laws’ family in this. Just stand your ground, and it probably helps that you took your parents off paying for the venue. It eliminates a hold to control or blackmail. And the fact that your mom took it upon herself to try to shoehorn your sister into your wedding venue strikes me this is what the primary reason that your sister is the self-centered, immature person she is. © twobitharry / Reddit
• I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My reaction is to assume that people couldn’t possibly be like this... but having dealt with my own wedding drama a couple of years ago, I can say for certain that weddings bring out the crazy in a lot of people. It’s going to be hard, but you’ve got to write off your family. Sounds like your brother might be a good ally! Definitely talk things over with him. Lastly, congrats to you and your future husband! You’re going to have a beautiful wedding filled with love and people who want you to be happy. © ladypuffsalot / Reddit
• It is so hypocritical for your family to stress the importance of family when they only care about a few select people. The fact that you and your brother see this, plus the thousands of people online, is a clear sign they are crazy. Doesn’t matter if we know them or not. © edwadokun / Reddit
• Your sister is selfish, jealous, and lazy af. She clearly doesn’t love you if she asked you to sacrifice months of planning your dream wedding all for her benefit. She and your parents are completely in the wrong, and you’re better off without that negativity in your life. Hope you have the best wedding ever. You sound like you’re surrounded by enough loving, caring people. © cowgirrl3 / Reddit

Conflicts like these aren’t uncommon; in fact, one woman, in this other story we’ve prepared, even walked out of her sister’s wedding over similar tensions. Sometimes, saying “no” is the hardest, yet most necessary, choice.