I Refuse to Have My Stepdaughter’s Sleepover Party at MY House

Family & kids
4 weeks ago

Sometimes, the dynamics between a mother and a stepmother can be complicated, especially when it involves making decisions about the child. Alice, a Bright Side reader, found herself in a delicate situation when her husband’s ex asked her to host their daughter’s sleepover. Alice believes that this should not be her responsibility and therefore refused. She wrote to us for advice.

This is Alice’s letter:

Yes you are now a mom. You should treat any "stepchild(ren) as if they were yours. I have 3 bonus kids I have raised and loved for over 40 + years. You don't get the parent without the kids.


Thank you for sharing your story with us, Alice! Here are some tips that we hope can be useful.

Compromise with a limited time frame.

Instead of hosting the sleepover for the entire weekend, suggest a compromise where the sleepover is limited to one night only. This way, your stepdaughter can still have her party, but it won’t be as overwhelming for you.

For example, you could propose having the sleepover from Saturday evening to Sunday morning, which allows you to still have part of your weekend to rest and recuperate.

Involve your husband more directly.

Since your husband is keen on hosting the sleepover, propose that he take on the primary responsibility for the event. This can include planning activities, preparing meals, and managing the kids throughout the night.

Emphasize that this arrangement allows you to support your stepdaughter’s desire without bearing the full burden yourself. Additionally, this can be a way for your husband to actively participate in his daughter's birthday celebration.

Alternative celebration ideas.

Suggest alternative ways to celebrate that don’t involve a sleepover. For instance, you could propose a fun day trip or a special outing on Saturday where your stepdaughter and her friends can enjoy various activities, and then have a shorter gathering at your home afterward.

This approach minimizes the disruption to your weekend while still giving your stepdaughter a memorable celebration.

Utilize external help.

If the sleepover must happen, consider hiring help for the weekend. This could involve hiring a babysitter or asking a family member to assist with supervising and entertaining the kids.

Explain to your husband that while you are willing to accommodate the sleepover, having extra help will ensure it runs smoothly and allows you to manage your work-related fatigue. This solution balances your need for rest with your stepdaughter’s desire for a birthday sleepover.

Rebecca is another stepmom facing a disagreement with her husband's ex. When the ex asked her to prepare separate vegan dishes for her daughter every day, Rebecca refused, leading to increased tension. She wrote to us asking for advice.

Preview photo credit freepik / Freepik


Get notifications
Lucky you! This thread is empty,
which means you've got dibs on the first comment.
Go for it!

Related Reads