I Refuse to Let My Husband’s Daughter Live With Us Unless She Follows My Rules

You are correct but should just say you don't want her there. Asking her to get rid of the dog says that anyway.

you are 100% correct

People need to stop reading into things sometimes things are straight forward she stated several times she would be happy to have her stay there it's just not ideal because people would have to share rooms and she maybe doesn't do chores at her mom's and maybe her mom makes special meals for her so she was just stating what she expected of children who live in the house. Her kids do chores and eat what she makes and because people have allergies the dog can't come. She could keep dog at moms place and take care of it.

Sounds like there may be a lot more to this story that doesn’t involve this one situation. Have you thought about your kids live in a house with HER dad, and she doesn’t. That’s gotta be hard. You also say it’s not ideal for her to move in…. If she’s your step daughter why not? To me it sounds like you want to be a family with your kids and HER dad but not her. I’m a grown woman but the way you made it sound…. Screamed that all over it to me. There’s nothing wrong with any of your rules by the way, which also indicates why I think there’s a deeper reason you created drama in this situation. Read between the lines and stop making your step daughter feel like Cinderella.

Your house your rules

Take an allergy pill. Asking her to give up her dog is like asking you to give up one of your children.

Stand your ground because if you let him have that dog in the house who to say that she's going to be wanting to clean up after it and feed it stand your ground no matter what this is what happened with me and I let things go and then now me and my husband is departed so stand your ground it's not that you don't love her just stand your ground I agree with you 100%, rules are rules and if she don't like them go get your own place or stay where you at

You don't sound like a very nice person!!! Let the girl bring her dog!!!! Ever heard of allergy medicine?

You handled it like a typical fairytale stepmother, tbh. I understand that blending a family is challenging. However, the attitude you have toward your stepdaughter is clearly turning a challenging situation downright difficult.
Also, I'm allergic to animal dander of all sorts. Severely allergic. Not life threatening, but my whole face, especially eyes,will swell if I don't take allergy meds. I have 4 furry children. The allergy medication available OTC these days are amazing.

I'd rather live in my car and keep my dog. That was a painful request. I'm not sure how to answer that one. But the rest of your requests were very fair.

While the rules are reasonable, with the exception of the dog, your presentation/execution was NOT reasonable. Everyone doing chores, acceptable. Sharing a bedroom with a same-gender stepsibling, acceptable, especially if there's no other room available (and I'm not saying turn a home office into a bedroom, especially if either of you WFH). Not cooking separate meals, acceptable, even if your job is as a short-order cook, you can't afford and don't want to do that at home. The dog and your attitude are the problematic ones. If YOU are the only one in the household with an allergy to dogs, unless said allergy is anaphylaxis, take some dàmnèd Benadryl and get over yourself!

While technically these rules are reasonable, I don't like the way youve presented your attitude toward your stepdaughter. I dont like that you think her living with you isnt ideal. I would love for my stepsons to live with us, whether that makes it crowded or not. And I feel like as long as your children arent allergic to dogs then you as the parent should try really hard to find a solution so that she can have her dog there, whether thats taking medicine or following a strict grooming schedule you should at least try to put some effort in.

I have a problem with she has her children from previous marriage but not ideal scenario for his child to live with them. She said it out loud. You don't think the child didn't pick up on it? How was it presented? That kid probably feels like the dog is only one who loves her. I love when people pull the allergy card, usually translates to I don't like it & if I pull the allergy card I win. I apologize to those with true allergies but you know it's true.

Id choose my pet over any human or living situation