I Refuse to Let My Husband’s Daughter Live With Us Unless She Follows My Rules

Children of divorce catch on at a very early on how to manipulate and pit their parents against each other. 6

You did well. She has to follow people's rules. When she gets a job, she will need to follow rules, start now lol. She seems a bit spoiled for sure. After school, she would probably have to give up the dog anyway if she's off to college. Not many dorms can have dogs.. and she can cook her own meals. I started cooking when I was 7, a teen can and should. She can still visit the dog when she sees her mom. Husband is being unreasonable for sure here.

Stepmom is not being mean at all. I am not sure why people are trying to make her into that mean stepmother. She should not have to coddle the teen. She is setting up the expectations of the house. I am sure she doesn't bring the animal on visitation because she already knows about the allergy. No wonder why young people these days act the way they do when you have people just telling someone that is allergic to get over it and take allergy meds.

You can take allergy medicine so she can bring her dog with her. She shouldn't be made to give up something so precious to her, that's harsh. Why would she have to eat separate meals, is someone vegan? She can eat with the family. The chores are fine she can just share them with the other kids. Rooming with your daughter shouldn't be difficult as long as everyone is nice and respectful of each other. Unless she's a spoiled brat who's used to getting her way, this could work out.

You lost me.with the rule on the dog. The rest is.very reasonable

I don't see your requirements as being unreasonable. There will always be problems. But once you marry someone who despite divorce and they have children, you inherited their problems also because between the ex and his daughter they will always be somewhere in his life. You and him really need to talk or seek counseling. Because there's a lot of advice, but from anyone looking at your situation like a window shopper the advice or opinions may or may not help you. Not many will understand your experience because we all are on a different path in life unique to each individual.

I'm sorry but the stepmom is not wrong at all the rules are completely understandably

All the people saying the teenager should be allowed to bring her dog have, clearly, never had to deal with allergies. I'm allergic to cats. Being around a cat for a few minutes will put me in bed for days. I've tried every medication; some work a little but mmost don't work at all for severe allergies.

I think we all got to misunderstanding here she got rules for her house and people that move in are going to live there have to abide by her rules now if someone's allergic to dogs or cats and they can't be there what's wrong with her telling her that she can't bring it it's not that she's being cruel or that the dog is another child because that's not true it's not up even about standing your ground it's just about you have rules just like anybody else and you don't let this situation toward you and your husband apart you guys find a solution that's just it she's still a child and you don't want to risk someone being sick because a dog is there so you and the husband work it out what we have to say doesn't matter it's how you guys are going to work it out together

I don’t understand the separate meals thing. Also, I would never subject my dog to a hostile environment. Stepmom basically said no without having to say it.

All of this was reasonable

Stepdaughter is young, troubled and upset about leaving her beloved dog behind. Hormones are raging and some soft words & active listening are called for here. She needs a hug.

As a parent you know the dog would have helped with the smooth transition . Stepmom went too far too fast. She could have had a girls day , where she bonded with her one on one to establish that connection. Then established the rules with understanding of the step daughter situation. Good rul3s ....wrong approach!

Have you talked to her mom and asked what the disagreement is about?..Perhaps you could negotiate a reconciliation which would be better for everyone, it could be she is balking at her moms house too...There are always going to be rules in life, she may need help making up with her mom...it would be better for everyone, the pup is accepted and loved, im sure she has established friends close by...please give it some thought and try..no need for everyone to go through this emotional ordeal..Wishing you and your family the best..

These rules are actually very easy and simple. Like I expected them to be worse but if the daughter can't accept those then she's just entitled. Like these are very reasonable rules!

Wow so many mean comments from people who don't know the whole situation. We don't know if there was a conversation about the teen of the husband was going to live with them. Or if the teen has an attitude with a disrespectful behavior. Or if the teen is bringing drama or outside problems with her. We don't know if its the wife 's home or not . Or what agreements was made before the marriage. What the new mother/ wife is doing is setting rules in her home. And it's her right to do so. Not one of you mention that doing chores or sharing a room is normal in families. And if that is part of house rules she should do them if she want to be part of the family. We don't know if the husband agree or disagree with it. Why haven't anyone question why the teen daughter don't want to live with her mother ? Do the mother know something we don't know?

Who owns the house and who is the bread winner are your kids your husbands kids or your step kids becuase if you get to make rules for hes kids he should get to make rules for your kids

Think you are being disingenuous & out of your depth. Step daughter has as much right to live with her father as your daughters have to live with you,
Why you're behaving as if the request is so "extra" or crazy beyond the pale. Or, as if you can actually keep your husband while spitting on his daughter, when she needs him.

I can't see how you are unreasonable with your rules. There is no way you should be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You have the right, as head of your household, to live in comfort and if you aren't comfortable with the dog in the house, regardless of the reason, your stepdaughter has to make a choice for herself. She, after all, has options. She can't get along with her mom and now showing signs that she will disrupt your household. I do feel you erred by not first discussing this with your husband and the two of you present a united front. Whether you chose to discuss these rules with her without him or he left you to do it by yourself, it was a bad move. But that advice is based on having been there. Blended families aren't easy and a you go through this transition, it is advisable that you and your husband first discuss and present a united front with the children as much as possible.