I Refuse to Let My Wife’s Ex In-Laws See Our Daughter Because of Their Hurtful Comments

In a recent viral story, a man revealed that he stopped his wife’s late husband’s parents from seeing their daughter after enduring weeks of their hurtful comments. The man, who married a widow, initially tried to maintain a cordial relationship with the wife’s ex in-laws for the child’s sake. However, their repeated negative remarks became too much to bear.

The man explained the situation.

I have been married to my wife for about two years now, and we had our daughter a year ago. Now, my wife was married before, she got married pretty young, but her husband died. I knew all of this and have been just fine with it. Until now.

See, she’s still pretty close to her dead husband’s parents. And they were excited about the birth of our child. FYI, they only had the one son, no other children at all.

They have been coming over to our place about once a week. It was fine at first, but it’s gotten kind of suffocating.

They have visited us more time than either her parent, or my parents. They have even stayed over our house at times. Something I wouldn’t even like if they were my own parents.

Another thing...they talk about their dead son...a lot. Which is usually fine, but they have made some comments that make me uncomfortable. They even said my daughter kind of looks like him, and his mom even said, “Oh, if she’s this cute, imagine how cute your kids would have been, if only...” when talking to my wife. She was gonna say more, but I think she realized what she was about to say, I was right there.

I want to be amicable, and I knew that there was gonna be some moments like this, but it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Would I be wrong if I told my wife’s dead husband’s parents to stop coming to see our daughter?

People in the comments were on his side.

• They are clinging to you guys in the wake of losing their son, but there needs to be boundaries in place. It begins with a conversation with your wife and working in unison. leaving4me / Reddit
• His parents clearly need grief counseling. They’re entitled to feel how they feel, and my heart just aches for them, but they are not related to this little girl, and they clearly are struggling with their pain and loss. Access to this child is not healthy for anyone. Ava_Lenore / Reddit
• When they mention their son and how his kids would have looked, they are crossing a line. You have a bigger problem with your wife, she should be shutting them down. They can be bonus grandparents, only if they respect you as the father of your child. SnooWords4839 / Reddit
• It’s not appropriate. They feel like they have missed out on the experience of their son having children and getting to enjoy grandchildren. I’m sure they love your wife and cling to her as a part of what is left from their son. The parents of the dead husband need therapy, and they need to let your wife move on and be with her family. briguygotyou / Reddit

Someone even shared their personal experience.

I’m a widower and have two kids with my new wife. My kids are in middle school now. I’ve known my late wife’s parents since I was 16. We were living with them when she was ill, and I stayed there after she died unexpectedly, and we got much closer. I was very clear with my new wife when we were dating that they were family to me and that wasn’t going to change.

It hasn’t changed, and she’s great with it. My kids have another set of grandparents, and yeah, they know exactly the situation, and I think that my late wife’s mom is probably their favorite grandma. They’re awesome people.

That said, what you’ve described is concerning. His parents suffered the worst loss there could be. There is no “getting over it”, only learning to live with it, moving on with life. They sound like they haven’t moved on. Your wife needs to talk with them.

Also, it would be very generous of you to allow them to continue having a relationship with your kid, though if they can’t heal and have a healthy relationship, it is understandable that you’d need them cut off. But yeah, would be a kindness to work this out with them. In my experience, you can’t have too many people loving your child. foffl / Reddit

When a man decided to refuse to hand over her late boyfriend’s house to his parents, she set off a storm of controversy that has left people deeply divided.