I Refuse to Name My Baby After My Mother-in-Law, She Crossed a Line

Family dynamics can get tricky, especially when it comes to baby names, boundaries, and differing expectations. Many expectant parents face pressure from in-laws or relatives, leaving them stressed, frustrated, and unsure how to assert their choices while keeping the peace.

Letter from Bailey.

Hey Bright Side,

I need to vent and also figure out if I’m overreacting here. I’m 29, pregnant with my first baby, and honestly, I’ve been so excited about everything, until my MIL got involved. From basically day one, she’s been pushing me to name the baby after her. She calls it her “legacy,” and every time I bring up other names, she gets this look like I just punched her in the face. Fast forward to my baby shower yesterday, everything was going great.

Friends, family, fun games, and I was actually having a really good time. Then, halfway through, my MIL stands up to make a toast. I genuinely thought she’d say something sweet, maybe give me a compliment, or share a funny story. Nope. She says, loud and proud, “Big news! I’m thrilled to announce that the baby will carry my name.” I literally froze. Everyone was staring at me. My husband looked mortified, probably realizing this is a hill we’re about to die on.

I didn’t know what to say. I just smiled awkwardly and forced a laugh, but inside? I’m fuming. This is my baby. Not hers. Not a prize for her ego. I feel like if I actually push back, I’ll start a huge fight with my MIL and maybe even divide the family. But if I don’t, it’s like... I lose my say in something that’s mine to decide. I’ve tried being polite, gentle, and honest before, but she just brushes it off like I’m being unreasonable.
So, Bright Side, am I overreacting? How do I stand my ground without turning the whole family against me? Or do I just have to bite the bullet and pick a name she’ll tolerate?

Thanks,
Bailey.

Hey, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Bailey! Just know you’re not alone, and there are ways to protect your boundaries while keeping the peace.

• Name battles aren’t just about names — Listen, this isn’t really about what the baby is called, it’s about setting boundaries. If you let her steamroll this, she’ll think it’s open season on everything. Sit down with your husband and agree on the exact language you’ll use. Even practicing it out loud helps. Say it once, firmly, and don’t feel guilty about repeating it.
• Practice saying no without guilt — This is a life skill, not just a MIL thing. Rehearse short, firm lines: “We appreciate your input, but we’ve decided on a different name.” Repeating it calmly over time helps you feel less stressed and makes it harder for her to argue.
• Keep the focus on you and your baby — It’s easy to get sucked into her ego trip, but keep your lens on your baby’s future and your happiness. If she complains or throws fits, remind yourself: the baby will never remember this fight, but you will remember standing up for your choices.

With clear boundaries and open communication, families can find ways to respect each other’s wishes while celebrating new beginnings. Even in tricky situations, focusing on what truly matters, love, support, and the baby’s well-being, can make all the difference.

Read next — “My MIL Ignored Our Rule and Bought My Son a Puppy, She Wasn’t Ready for My Surprise”