I Refused to Invite My Obese Niece to a Trip Because of Her Weight

Things can get complicated quickly when it comes to family matters. Sometimes, you’ve got to make choices that weigh on your heart, just like our reader did. We reveal their story in which saying no led to unwanted consequences.

One of our readers asked us for advice.

Thanks for sharing your experience and reaching out to us with your problem! We’ve got some ideas and tips that might come in handy for your situation, so we hope you find them helpful.

Express your thoughts in a softer way.

We understand your frustration, and it’s good that you decided to tell her the truth. Yet, you could have delivered it in a more considerate way. It would have created less problems for the two of you. The way you addressed the issue was hurtful and unproductive.

Apologize to her and explain that it’s not really about her weight but her behavior. Remember that saying sorry doesn’t mean you deny the problem, it means you recognize there was a better way to express your feelings.

You shouldn’t feel guilty.

Although your words were quite harsh, your intentions were clear. Your trips don’t have to revolve around your niece’s wishes. You shouldn’t have to plan your trips taking into account your niece’s limits. Besides, you have the right to spend time only with your daughters. Let your niece know that you don’t ignore her. You just avoid inviting her to trips that require a lot of movement.

Offer her to check her health.

A lot of large people can do active things. There are also many people with limitations who can take care of themselves without demanding the attention of others. Being overweight doesn’t mean you can’t walk a few steps or do basic shopping.

She should check her health and consult with a professional regarding her fatigue. Perhaps she needs to take some supplements or join a gym. She might also have some thyroid issues that often occur in women. You can take her to an endocrinologist and see what they recommend.

Invite her only to trips that are appropriate for her

It’s important to have balance. Your niece should pass on things that demand a lot of physical effort since she wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. Invite her to trips that don’t require much walking. As an alternative, she might consider using some mobility aids.

When you leave her, don’t give in to her complaints. Tell her you love her and will return in 15-25 minutes. You can also take turns and sit with her so she doesn’t feel lonely. If she doesn’t accept even this, her attitude will probably keep her excluded.

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