I Refused to Give Up My Holiday Leave to a Coworker With Kids—Just Because I’m Child-Free

The holiday season is meant to bring joy, togetherness, and a well-deserved break, but sometimes, workplace dynamics can make it complicated. Many employees find themselves facing tough choices when personal time off clashes with others’ plans or company expectations. Recently, one reader shared her experience with Bright Side about what happened when her Christmas vacation approval turned into an unexpected moral dilemma.

Here’s Marta’s letter:

Hi Bright Side,

I booked 2 weeks off for Christmas — officially approved since May. Last week, a coworker found a “dream holiday deal,” but her dates overlapped with mine. She turned to me and said, “Why take time off? You don’t have kids! Christmas is for families!” I declined her request as politely as I could.

The next morning, HR asked to see me. As I stepped inside, the lights went off. Then I froze, when suddenly, they lit one of those “holiday spirit” candles.

One of them clasped my hand warmly and said, “You understand how important Christmas is for parents, don’t you?” The other slid an envelope toward me. “A little token for your holiday spirit,” they said. Inside was a $100 gift card — a “gesture of appreciation” for giving up my Christmas leave.

When they noticed my hesitation, they pushed a printout across the table. The heading read: “Family-First Initiative.” Apparently, the company’s launching a new program where employees without dependents are “encouraged to support colleagues who contribute to the next generation.”

Now I’m torn: Do I give up my hard-earned holiday to keep the peace, or stand my ground and risk being branded “not a team player”... maybe even risk my career?

— Marta

Thank you, Marta, for sending us your story and opening up about this tricky workplace dilemma. Here are 4 pieces of advice that might help you — and anyone facing a similar situation — find the right balance between standing your ground and keeping the holiday spirit alive.

Stand Your Ground Gracefully.

You earned your time off fair and square, and you have every right to enjoy it. Politely but firmly remind HR that your vacation was approved months in advance and that you made personal plans around it.

Standing firm doesn’t mean being unkind, it means respecting your own boundaries. If you frame your response professionally, it’s unlikely to harm your reputation. Confidence and courtesy often speak louder than compliance.

Document Everything.

In situations where workplace pressure starts to blur into unfair treatment, documentation is your best defense. Keep written records of your approved leave, HR communications, and any related exchanges. If things escalate, this shows that you’ve acted responsibly and transparently.

It’s not about confrontation, it’s about protection. When emotions run high, facts and dates keep your case clear and credible.

Seek Support Without Creating Conflict.

You don’t have to face this alone. Reach out to a trusted manager, mentor, or even HR representative outside the immediate circle handling this case. Explain your perspective calmly and highlight that fairness, not favoritism, should guide decisions.

This shows maturity and teamwork without surrendering your rights. Sometimes, involving the right person can turn a tense situation into a constructive one.

Reflect on What “Team Player” Really Means.

Being a team player doesn’t mean always saying yes, it means acting with integrity and fairness toward both yourself and others. Giving up your holiday out of guilt could set a harmful precedent for the future.

Real teamwork happens when everyone’s needs are respected equally, not just those with families. Remind yourself that your rest and well-being are just as valuable as anyone else’s. A healthy balance benefits both you and your workplace in the long run.

Even the most patient person reaches a point where the blurred boundaries between work and personal life become overwhelming.
I Refused to Cover for a ‘New Mom’ Coworker—HR Got Involved