My Boyfriend Refuses to Wash His Butt, So I Had to Take Extreme Measures

When you’re in a relationship, there are certain unspoken expectations about personal hygiene. You expect your partner to shower regularly, brush their teeth, and, yes, wash all parts of their body. Unfortunately, not all expectations are met. And that’s exactly what happened in today’s story. Buckle up, because this journey is anything but ordinary.

She shared what happened.

I recently learned that my boyfriend does not wash his butt in the shower. We were taking a shower together, and I noticed that he applied soap in his hand and gently rubbed his hand over his body. He said that he uses his hand to shower and not a loofah, washcloth, etc.

I also noticed that he didn’t wash his butt. He said that when he’s in the shower, the water rinses over his butt and that’s how he washes it.

I tried to be understanding, as maybe his parents never taught him how to properly shower. I then taught him. I thought we had come to an understanding that he would do so. That all happened on Saturday.

Now it is Tuesday, and I’ve asked him if he has washed his butt since that conversation we had. He said no, that he thought it was nasty to stick his hand in there to wash it. This time, I am starting to distance myself from the relationship. In my opinion, he is a grown man who doesn’t practice basic hygiene. In his opinion, he needs time to get comfortable with the idea of it.

I can't tell if I'm being too harsh on him, or if my wanting to end things is justified. Do I throw away the best partner I've ever had over this?

People advised her to let him go.

• "Thanks for chlorine. How many people out there are also unsafe to be in a public pool with." normalLichen777 / Reddit
• "I'm a dude. Your boyfriend is gross." eightsidedbox / Reddit
• "There is a (small, I hope) group of people that think washing one's butt makes one gay. How they expect to attract any women while smelling like an open sewer is something they have not yet been able to explain." SamuelVimesTrained / Reddit

• "If a grown man can’t clean his butt, he probably isn’t wiping it well either. It’s a dealbreaker for me." Unknown author / Reddit
• "I have a friend who after years of marriage got divorced, and one of the top 3 reasons she listed when venting was his dirty butt. He’s not gonna change, and you will forever feel icky."
  Ok_Environment2254 / Reddit
• "Nobody should have to be coaxed into butt washing." Specific_Anxiety_343 / Reddit

• “Hygiene is a huge dealbreaker for some and hopefully most in this situation. That is seriously not okay and he either needs to fix it now, or learn the consequences of being nasty. I hope that you end up with a hygienic relationship, no matter the outcome of this one.” i***kedup0226 / Reddit
• “I wouldn’t be touching that man ever again if he isn’t gonna wash his body appropriately.” AuraleahSunwolf / Reddit
• “You shouldn’t have to explain basic hygiene to someone, especially an adult.” masterofmidnight / Reddit

In the end, taking extreme measures was the only way to address the issue head-on. It wasn't easy and certainly not comfortable. Sometimes, love means confronting unpleasant truths and working together to find solutions.