My GF’s Family Used Me on Vacation, Then Forbade Me to Share a Room With Her

In our “Stories from Readers” rubric, there was an email from our reader, and it’s one for the books.

Ethan H., a 30-year-old man, shared his unforgettable (and frankly, unhinged) experience of going on vacation with his 20-year-old girlfriend and her parents. What was supposed to be a fun European getaway quickly turned into a bizarre family drama.

Not only did Ethan end up paying for his own flight and renting a car to chauffeur everyone around, but he was also treated like an ATM and an on-call driver. The real kicker? Her parents forbade him and his girlfriend from sleeping in the same room. Her mother took things even further, turning the trip into a full-blown morality play, complete with late-night phone checks and “temptation tests.”

Keep reading to get the full story behind this emotionally charged vacation gone sideways. And trust us, you’ll definitely have opinions.

Here’s an email from Ethan and his story:

Note from editorial: Spelling, grammar, and style are preserved exactly as they appeared in the original email from the reader.

"Hi, Bright Side

So here’s the deal. I’m (30M) on a two-week vacation in Europe with my girlfriend (20F) and her family. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and this is my first trip with them.

I was invited to come along, but I paid for my own flight, and I also rented the car we’re using to get around for 15 days. I’m also the designated driver for the entire trip. So yeah, this isn’t a free ride. I’m contributing, and not just financially.

Everything seemed cool. Her parents were polite, even fun at times. But the drama kicked off on the very first night.

After a 3-hour flight and then five hours of driving them across a different country, we finally get to our Airbnb. It’s late, we’re exhausted, and I’m ready to crash.

But then my girlfriend’s mom pulls me aside and says, very seriously, that I can’t share a room with my girlfriend. Not even the same bed, same room! She says it’s “inappropriate” because we’re not married. Her words, “You will sleep with my daughter only after you sign a marriage certificate.”

Mind you, there are only two bedrooms: one with a double bed (which her parents claimed), and another with two singles. They expect me and my girlfriend to sleep separately, like it’s 1950.

But wait, it gets weirder. When I express discomfort about sharing a room with her brother, they “graciously” suggest that I just get a hotel nearby. Yup. The guy who paid for the car, drives everyone around, and funded half this trip is being gently kicked out to the nearest inn like some vagabond with lustful intentions.

So I book a small room in a nearby hotel. Fine. Whatever. I want peace. But then, at 1:30 in the freaking morning, I get a call. It’s her mom.

She goes, “Just wanted to check, you’re in your hotel room, right?” I’m like, “...yes?” She says, “Okay. I just hope you’re not out doing anything inappropriate while my daughter is asleep back here.”

Lady, I’m in bed with a protein bar and a dead phone battery, trying to recover from hours of driving you around. What do you think I’m doing, prowling the cobblestone streets of Prague looking for a scandal?

My girlfriend is also over it, but says she “doesn’t want to rock the boat.” Meanwhile, I’m rocking a solo twin bed in a two-star hotel and fielding passive-aggressive purity checks from her mom.

So, am I wrong for being seriously annoyed, feeling like I’m being treated like a teenage delinquent, and considering just driving off into the Alps with my dignity?

Edit: Yes, I’m aware of the age gap. No, I’m not trying to corrupt anyone. I just thought that after 1.5 years of dating and spending thousands on this trip, I wouldn’t be policed like I’m starring in a Victorian morality play."

Thank you, Ethan, for sharing your story with us.

Your experience is certainly a controversial one, touching on a variety of interpersonal dynamics. From family boundaries and cultural values to the struggle of balancing respect for a partner’s parents with personal dignity. It’s a tricky situation, and one that different people will likely interpret in very different ways.

Your story sparked a real conversation, and we’d like to share some of our reader’s comments with you.

What our readers had to say about Ethan’s situation:

• u/MidwestMom1982 (F, 42)
  
  “Their house, their rules” doesn’t exactly apply when you’re not under their roof AND you’re footing the bill. If I were you, I’d stop driving them around and let them figure out public transport. They’re treating you like a teenager while using you like a travel agent. Hard pass.
• u/BicycleAndBiceps (M, 33)
  
  Honestly, I respect the parents’ values. You’re 30, she’s 20, I can see why they’re cautious. You’re not married, and in some families, that means a hard no on sharing a room.
  Doesn’t mean they hate you, just that they have a code. You either respect it or date someone with a different background.
• u/CouchGoblin9000 (F, 25)
  
  The 1:30am phone call??? That’s insane. Controlling, creepy, and invasive. Your GF needs to step up.
  You’re being treated like a hormonal student, not a long-term partner. If she doesn’t draw boundaries with her mom, you’re not just dating her, you’re dating her whole family dynamic.
• u/ForkliftPhilosopher (M, 46)
  
  You’ve got a girlfriend problem, not a mom problem. If she’s okay watching you get booted to a hotel like some threat to her virtue, she’s not ready for adult relationships. You’re basically being exploited here. Time to reevaluate before you rack up more miles, metaphorical or literal.
• u/EuroSnacc (NB, 29)
  
  I mean... you knew you were going on vacation with her family, right? Like, why would you assume you’d be getting alone time on a family trip? The call was weird, yeah, but you’re not exactly on a couples’ getaway. Maybe lower the expectations and just finish the trip in peace.
• u/ChaosFerret22 (F, 19)
  
  Okay, but imagine being the daughter here. You’re stuck between your overbearing mom and your pissed-off boyfriend, and everyone expects you to fix it. Her mom is a difficult person, but I wouldn’t dump the GF over it unless she keeps enabling it forever. Sounds like growing pains, not red flags yet.

Some pieces of advice from Bright Side editorial:

• Keep a Trip Journal. Not for Instagram, but for Sanity
  Start documenting what’s happening day by day. Not to “expose” anyone, but to keep track of how often your boundaries are crossed and how your girlfriend responds. Sometimes writing things down makes patterns (and dealbreakers) way clearer than venting.
• Give Your Girlfriend a Gentle Ultimatum
  You’re not asking her to fight her mom, just to have your back. Tell her calmly: “If I’m good enough to fund and drive this trip, I should be trusted to share a room with you.” If she can’t advocate for that bare minimum, she may not be ready for adult partnership, and that’s valuable intel.
• Start Saying “No” Creatively
  Next time they ask you to drive across countries to see a random statue, just say, “Oh, I’d love to, but I promised my hotel bed I’d be faithful to it tonight.” Humor can set boundaries without nuclear fallout. Passive-aggressive moms hate it. Win-win.
• Don’t Leave the Trip — Flip It
  Instead of storming off, turn the rest of the trip into a test drive of them. Observe. How often are you respected? Are you seen as family, or just a free Uber with a conscience? The data you collect now will save you years of doubt later.
• Set Up a “Reality Check” Talk After the Trip
  When you’re home (and out of her mom’s surveillance radius), sit your girlfriend down and ask how she thinks it all went. Don’t accuse, just listen. If she defends her mom’s midnight calls, you’ve got your answer. If she cringes, you might still have a future.
• Ask Yourself This One Brutal Question
  If this dynamic never changed: not next month, not next year, not after marriage, would you still want this life? Because odds are, it won’t change unless she changes it. And the earlier you know that, the freer you are.

In our “Letters from Readers” series, we’ve got another “travel and entitledness” story to share.

This one comes from Marge W., our longtime reader. She wrote in about a recent family clash with her daughter-in-law, who tried to turn Marge’s long-awaited retirement cruise into a free babysitting gig.

But Marge turned out to be a hard nut to crack. Read the full story to see how she handled the situation and what happened next.