My Girlfriend Ditched My Home-Cooked Meal for Pizza

Food is a love language. But when Calvin poured his heart into this act of love, it was dismissed by his girlfriend. What followed wasn’t just a moment of hurt, but judgment from her and her family when he responded with the same indifference he was shown.

His letter:

Hi <strong>Bright Side,

My girlfriend, Melisa, and I have been together for about a year and a half. I’ve always been the kind of person who shows love through actions, especially cooking. My girlfriend, on the other hand, isn’t really a foodie, but she’s always seemed to appreciate the effort I put in. Or so I thought.

A few weeks ago, I decided to surprise her. I spent almost the entire day preparing her absolute favorite dish to make: chicken cordon bleu, with a creamy sauce and roasted asparagus. It’s a bit time-consuming, but definitely worth it.

I had to leave for my night shift shortly after I finished, but I left the meal carefully covered in the fridge with a note telling her to enjoy.

But an hour into my shift, she called and asked if I wanted a pizza. I was a bit taken aback and told her I had already cooked. Then I heard her smirk and say, “Oh, that? I already threw it down the toilet.”

I thought she was joking.

I laughed it off, genuinely thinking she was joking, but then she continued, saying, “It just didn’t look appetizing.” So, basically, she hadn’t even tasted it.

That night, I told her on the phone that I couldn’t keep putting in so much effort for her if she didn’t even care enough to try it. The conversation got pretty tense, and we didn’t really resolve it.

A few weeks later it was her 40th birthday, but I was still mad, so I did nothing for her birthday. No cake, no presents. Nothing. She’s now furious, and her family is involved, accusing me of being inconsiderate.

But I was just giving her the same energy she gave me. Was I really wrong for that?

Sincerely,
Calvin Brown

Here’s what Bright Side readers think.

Our readers were overwhelmed by Calvin’s story and just had to share some of their opinions with him:

• chemistryball • 1.6k points • 2 hours ago
  “You were absolutely right in being furious but using her birthday to punish her was just cruel. Now you’ve just hurt your relationship more than helped it. Instead of fixing things, you’ve turned this into a huge drama that could actually break you up.”
• rich_pineapple624 • 2.7k points • 4 hours ago
  “NTA. You’re not wrong at all. She told you exactly how much your effort meant to her, so you showed her what zero effort looks like.”
• armadillo • 580 points • 5 hours ago
  “Who throws perfectly good food away????? Her not even tasting it was the biggest red flag that she doesn’t respect you or your feelings. And her family getting involved and calling you inconsiderate is them completely missing the point. She was incredibly inconsiderate first.”
• caspers_son • 856 points • 1 hour ago
  “Everyone Sucks Here. Yeah, what she did was super rude, heartless really. But instead of talking it out, you got back at her on her birthday. Now it’s just both of you hurting each other. If you wanna fix it, you gotta stop keeping score and actually talk.”
• chiken_turtle264 • 2K points • 4 hours ago
  “So when you told her you couldn’t keep putting in effort, what did she say? Did she apologize or explain, or just brush it off? Feels like you both let it sit instead of talking it out, and now it’s not even about who’s right. It’s just zero communication.”
• foodieaparatrus78 • 722 points • 3 hours ago
  “She trashed your effort and laughed. She straight up showed you who she is....believe her. Your silence on her bday was just her actions coming back to bite her.”

Advice from the Bright Side editorial team.

Dear Calvin,

Thank you for writing to us. We understand the vulnerability that it took to open up about this difficult situation.

This is deeper than food. Anyone would be insulted after spending hours preparing a meal only to have it thrown away before it was even tasted. The time, money, and effort you wasted is sad. But also, with 925 million people in this world who are starving, there’s no excuse to be wasting food.

You’ve both contributed to this cycle of hurt, and you both have to decide if this is a deal-breaker. This is about more than a meal or a birthday. It’s about a fundamental difference in how you both value effort and appreciation. Is this a one-time issue, or is it part of a larger pattern where you take each other for granted?

Instead of focusing on who was right or wrong, maybe you could talk about how you both show and receive love. You could explain that cooking isn’t just about the food, it’s how you show you care, and that throwing it away felt like a rejection of your effort and feelings.

You both have to decide whether this cycle of hurt continues and ultimately destroys your couple, or you can break it and build a better relationship from this lesson.

Our editorial recently received a letter from Milana, whose toxic ex-boyfriend, Max, stalked her after she moved. She changed her phone number to escape him, but soon got betrayed by the one person she’d never suspected. The article shows Milana’s fear and the emotional turmoil of the situation, and provides advice on how to handle the situation.

Read on to see Milana’s story and share your thoughts.