My In-laws Invited 10 Extra People to Our Wedding and Got Offended by My Reaction

7 months ago

Often, we envision a flawless wedding, yet reality doesn’t always align with our expectations. Unforeseen surprises, etched in the memories of both the newlyweds and guests, frequently arise. For example, the author of today’s story had a problem with a substantial amount of uninvited guests. But the trouble didn’t stop there...

married my husband last weekend after about a year of planning. The ceremony went off perfectly, even with kids in the church.

Everything was going fine, the only hitch was that my in-laws invited about ten extra people without telling us. Not relatives or anything. Just friends of theirs we did not invite since we don’t know them. I did not notice them at the ceremony, and it wasn’t until the reception that there were issues.

There was no seating for them. Our best man and groomsmen found a folding table and chairs for them to sit at. There was food, we went with a buffet, but since we sent the tables to eat by number, and they didn’t have a number they were sent last after everything had been picked over.

My in-laws were embarrassed that their friends were being treated that way. I, very politely, asked them what they expected when they invited people without telling the people planning and paying for the wedding?

They said we needed to go apologize for their treatment. I said I would, but I would also explain that they had not actually been invited. If they wanted their guests told anything else, then they had to go explain.

They are upset with me. My husband has my back 100%. I think I could have been more gracious, but I also think it should not have fallen on us to deal with it.

The users commonly agree that this situation is unacceptable. People cannot just come to a celebration they weren’t invited to. By doing this, they cause force majeure situations that the organizers couldn’t be prepared for. Still, such cases happen every day. Some Redditors even shared their personal stories that are related:

  • Small-town people. I think my dad called people and just told them to show up. We had plenty of food, thank God, but there were at least 30 people I had never met to turn up for the reception. RandomCoffeeThoughts / Reddit
  • That’s just it: in some cultures, it is how weddings work! I grew up in a very small rural town. I was back visiting my mom one time and she just ... invited me to a local wedding she was going to.
    I barely knew the couple — like, I knew the groom when I was a kid — but this was a totally okay and normal thing for my mom to do. I refused, obviously. But in that culture, she was not doing anything wrong. The more, the merrier, right? redditonlygetsworse / Reddit
  • My husband’s stepmom brought three young adult kids to our wedding, whom we were not expecting. I assumed that it was my husband’s half-brothers and one of their girlfriends. They ended up staying at the house I moved into the day I got married because they needed a “cheap motel” and my husband didn’t have the heart to send them away.
    Later, I found out it was only one of his half-brothers and two random kids that the stepmom “adopted.” One of them took his shirt off at our reception because he got so hot! It was wild. greytgreyatx / Reddit

As we see, such situations happen in many cases. To prevent this from happening, you may include the next phrases in your invitations to make sure the guests understand that they cannot bring more people with them.

Budget Restrictions:

  • “We apologize, but because of budget limitations, we’re keeping our guest list very limited.”
  • “Since our family is covering a substantial part of our wedding expenses, we aim to minimize the number of guests.”
  • “We’re striving to save for a house while also financing our wedding, hence we’re keeping the guest count as minimal as possible.”

Venue Restrictions:

  • “Regrettably, our chosen venue has a very restricted capacity, forcing us to significantly reduce our guest list.”
  • “We apologize, but our venue lacks the space to accommodate additional guests such as plus ones or children.”
  • “The venue we adore has a maximum capacity of [NUMBER], hence our guest list is considerably restricted.”

As per experts, couples often need to invest between 200 and 300 hours to manage everything themselves, equivalent to a significant 20–38 days of full-time work. However, even with such extensive effort, many ceremonies don’t go as planned. Read more such wedding stories.


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