My Male Colleague Told Me “Women Aren’t Leadership Material,” I Waited for the Perfect Revenge

We recently received a letter from one of our readers that left us thinking long after we’d read it. It’s a quiet story of persistence, frustration, and one unforgettable sentence—spoken in a meeting she’ll never forget.
She didn’t shout. She didn’t fight back. Instead, she did something different.

Her letter with her own words.

“When I joined the team, I was new and trying to find my footing. I listened more than I spoke, took notes during meetings, and kept my ideas to myself—for a while.

Dave (let’s call him Dave) had been there longer than most. He was loud in meetings, overly confident, and loved making jokes that only he laughed at.

On my second week, while I was quietly shadowing a team meeting, he turned to me mid-discussion and said, ‘You’re smart, but you’re not really leadership material. Women aren’t—nothing personal.’

I smiled. Said nothing. And made a mental note I’d never forget.

Over the months that followed, I handled messy projects, fixed what others broke, and led without the title. Dave kept talking—I kept delivering.

Then a team lead role opened up. Dave told everyone he was ‘basically a lock.’ I applied too.

I got it.

He didn’t speak to me for days. When he finally did, all he asked was if he still had to report to me.

He did.”

Thank you for you letter!

Why Are There Still So Few Women in Leadership? New Data Breaks Down the Myths.

A massive global study from Hogan Assessments analyzed 25,000+ executive profiles across industries and found something surprising: Women are not held back by personality. They’re held back by perception.

Here are 5 of the most common myths—and what the science really says.

🔹 Myth #1: Women Aren’t as Ambitious

Reality: Women score just as high as men in ambition, initiative, and desire for leadership. The difference? They’re often expected to prove it more.

🔹 Myth #2: Women Are Too Cautious or Indecisive

Reality: Thoughtful decision-making isn’t a weakness. The data shows no meaningful difference between men and women in risk-taking or decisiveness.

🔹 Myth #3: Women Can’t Handle Stress

Reality: Emotional resilience and stress tolerance were equal across genders. Women aren’t more fragile—just more judged.

🔹 Myth #4: Women Lack Strategic Thinking

Reality: Strategic ability (planning, innovation, long-term thinking) showed no gender gap. Women are just as forward-thinking—if not more.

🔹 Myth #5: Women Aren’t Innovative

Reality: Women score equally in creativity, problem-solving, and driving change. Innovation doesn’t have a gender.

So What’s Actually Holding Women Back?

Experts say the real issue isn’t personality—it’s perception. Women are often evaluated by stricter, shifting standards, where confidence is mistaken for arrogance, and leadership is filtered through outdated expectations.

This research proves one thing clearly: Women don’t need to change. The system does.

Not every woman wants a leadership role—but those who do shouldn’t have to work twice as hard just to be seen as equal. The more we recognize the myths, the faster we can move past them.

The “Chair” Method Job Interviewers Use to Test You