My MIL Keeps Disrespecting Me and My Work—Her Latest Act Was the Final Straw

Working from home is a setup that might’ve been seen as chill or not a big deal of work by some people. It’s triggering, but Laura experiences this reaction and treatment from her MIL. Paired with her negative comments and unsolicited advice, one incident made her snap.

Laura reached out and shared what happened.

Dear Bright Side,

I am in need of an external opinion on this one; any advice and take would help. So, I work from home, and in my MIL’s mind, that means I’m a stay-at-home wife. She thinks that I’m lazing around whenever I’m in front of my computer, as she usually visits us, sometimes unannounced.

At this point, I had gotten used to her visits and unsolicited advice about being a good wife. But I won’t lie when I say that her comments do affect me from time to time, especially the blatant disrespect for the work I do.

A week ago, she showed up unannounced during my working hours. I had a meeting scheduled, a very important one. Panicked a little but welcomed her. I quickly went and made her some tea, leaving her in the living room.

When I got back, she was not there. I looked around and was floored to see her in my workspace. I caught her putting something in the trash. She was surprised when she saw me and said, “Sorry, I was just trying to help you clean,” and left the room.

I was confused about what happened, then suddenly I heard the notification for my meeting. In the middle of it, I noticed that something was missing. It was my sticky notes that I put on my work stuff. I checked the trash can and there they were, all crumpled and some were torn.

I turned off my camera and hurriedly compiled my notes, trying my best to save them as fast as I could. Those sticky notes my MIL has thrown consisted of ideas and plans that I was about to present in this crucial meeting.

I barely made it in my presentation and managed to somehow perform like nothing happened. Fortunately, I saved some pointers on my laptop, but it was lacking because a part of it was torn off my sticky notes.

After my meeting, it all sank in. I started to feel mad that I had to panic when I prepared so much for my presentation, just for my MIL to ruin it. It was my chance for a promotion.

I went to the living room to ask why she did it. She just said, “What’s the big deal? I’m just trying to help. Your desk was so messy that I had to deal with all that sticky stuff. A wife should always be clean and organized.”

I snapped and said, “Could you please leave? I’m too stressed to entertain your unsolicited advice.”

A couple of days had gone by, and she didn’t visit after that. In turn, we went to her house for a family dinner. Before eating, I saw my MIL’s car keys on the floor. Picked it up and put it in my pocket. The dinner went well, and there was no fuss with her.

The next day, MIL called my husband, crying, and was desperately asking if he had happened to see her keys. I told my husband that I took it, but forgot to give it back. Then, she immediately went to our house using her spare car keys and accused me of stealing it.

I explained that I took it off the floor and just forgot to give it back. She lost it. At that moment, I remembered what she told me and said, “Why are you making a fuss over the car keys? I did help you pick it up off the floor.”

My MIL started breaking down while saying I was a heartless person. My husband later told me that the car keys had a locket keychain of her late husband, my FIL. And said that I was rude for saying those. It was not a good time for such payback.

I didn’t even notice the locket because she had three others on it. That’s how I noticed it was hers in the first place. I didn’t intend to keep the keys; I just thought of this silly payback after seeing my MIL show the emotions I was feeling when she threw my notes.

As much as she cares for the locket, I care for my career as well. Both my husband and MIL are upset. I’d like to know if I deserve this reaction from them. Did I make a bad move?

Laura

A message from Bright Side.

It must’ve been frustrating when your MIL undermines your work and space like that. You’re working hard and deserve respect for your career, not constant “help” or unsolicited advice to be a good wife. It’s understandable why you’d feel mad; the sticky notes were the last straw for you. It was important for your presentation, and it wouldn’t feel good if it were passed off as not a big deal.

As for the car keys, it seems that it was more of an emotional reaction after everything that happened. You didn’t mean to cause pain, but the comment about it, without knowing its importance, hit a nerve because it was sentimental to her. Acknowledge that her feelings were hurt as well.

It’s also clear that your career and the respect for your workspace are really important to you, so feeling invalidated by her actions probably made you feel defensive, especially when it seemed like she was undermining your hard work.

Maybe you could have a calm chat with your MIL and husband and exchange apologies after expressing both sides. You’re not wrong for feeling how you do, but a little understanding on both sides might help smooth things over.

In another story, a grandmother who was asked to babysit her grandkids saw a worrying situation. The kids are glued to their phones. So she made a rule that her DIL was not happy about. Read what happened at this link.