My Son Is Ashamed of Me, So I Gave Him a Taste of His Own Medicine

Raising a teenager can be a challenge that drives some parents crazy. One day you have a little one in your arms, and the next day you find yourself with a youngster who no longer wants to be seen around you. That’s exactly what happened to this parent. She was tired of seeing her son embarrassed by her and decided to turn to social media for advice on dealing with this problem.

It can be challenging to deal with a teenager’s anger; that’s a known fact. But you must never forget that you’re usually not the cause of it. It’s not because you’re a weirdo that your kid is embarrassed. During adolescence, children undergo a process of detachment, a sort of apathy for many things, including parents. This is normal.

Here are a few things that might be helpful if you’re currently dealing with child embarrassment:

• Don’t take it personally. While sometimes this behavior can be hurtful, try to remember that adolescence is a tough time and that this way of acting out is a part of it. It’s not about you.
• Avoid conflict. While it is common to want to educate a child to address you respectfully, sometimes they may express themselves with undesirable language. Even so, it is best not to be tempted to immediately reprimand them for what they said and instead end the conversation.
  For example, if you ask your son why he hasn’t tidied his room, and he responds in a high-flown manner, try not to focus on his response. Instead, say something like, “My question was why you didn’t clean your room. You’re not using your cell phone until it’s clean.” Otherwise, your child will probably try to drag you into a fight about how to talk and will continue not to do what you asked.

• Give them attention and affection on their own terms. Spending time with a teen may seem challenging, and sometimes the more you try to get close, the more you seem to get the opposite result. But giving them some power is a good idea to develop a bond with them.
  Teens tend to want to be in charge, so you can let your child know that you want to hang out with them and then let them decide when and where. That will make it more appealing for them to spend time with you.
• Talk to other parents. One way to cope with this new phase is to talk to other parents who can share their experiences and advice. They may also be able to help you find some humor in the situation.
• Remember how you felt at that age. This can help you empathize with your child and recall that it’s not personal. At that age, you may also have thought that your friends were cool and wise while your parents were embarrassing.

• Adapt to the change in your relationship. It can be hard to accept that your relationship with your child has changed. Around this age, young people prefer to spend time with their friends. And sometimes, they tend to reject their parents to establish connections with people their own age. However, they will continue to ask for help, for example, getting from one place to another, but may not want to be escorted out of the car.
  This can be confusing, but you must understand that it is their way of saying, “I need you, but it’s hard to admit it, especially when I’m with my friends, so I’ll pretend I don’t like you.” So, just accept their independence and look for ways to spend time together by suggesting activities you both enjoy. Just don’t pressure them.

And if you’re interested in parenting articles, you may want to check out the following pieces: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.