Reddit Users Shared the Weirdest Things They Caught Their Kids Doing

Kids are one-of-a-kind mini-human beings. They pick up things from their parents, the TV, or at school, and can come up with a whole new twist on things that their brains have gathered throughout the day. Although they may seem easy to understand, sometimes it takes building blocks and puzzles to get through their heads. We’ve gathered a list of Reddit users’ unusual experiences that they had with their children.

• Me: “Why are you standing in the corner?”
  Child: “Punishing myself”
  Me: “Why?”
  Child: “For taking a cookie”
  Me: “When did you take a cookie?”
  Child: “I haven’t yet, but I know I will. They are my favorite, and dinner is a long time away.”
  Me: *reaches for cookie, trying not to laugh* © d**n_it**** / Reddit

• My 2-year-old was a very good girl on a road trip recently, so I told her that I would buy her a treat. She decided that she wanted 2 small scented candles that she now sleeps with. © ChickenPeeps / Reddit

• Sitting in a restaurant when she was young, she announces, “I burped out my butt!”
  She hadn’t learned fart yet. © SamoftheMorgan / Reddit

• I have a 9-month-old who pretends he’s pooping (squats and grunts really loud) when he feels like I’m not giving him attention. © hailcthulhu8 / Reddit

• We were out of toilet paper in the downstairs restroom, so I asked my son to bring some down. He brought me about 10 sheets. I said, “No, I need the entire roll.” He came down the stairs with an entire roll, completely unrolled in his arms. © JesseTheUsher / Reddit

• She proudly brought home a picture she had done at nursery school, with the caption she had told the teacher to write: “A bear is eating humans.” I love that girl. She also once, very seriously, at bedtime, said, “Daddy, when you go out of the room, I’m going to sing ’I like to move it move it’ to myself.” © JustA***_Dirty_Ape / Reddit

• My eldest used to be obsessed with remote controls for the TV. If they weren’t put out of his reach, he’d take them and hide them. My husband and I would turn the house upside down trying to find the bloody things, and invariably had to (repeatedly!) buy new ones.
  Then autumn came around and all the leaves fell off the bushes. Looking out of the window one day, we counted 11 remotes sitting under a bush, where my little boy had obviously thrown them some months earlier. As the leaves had fallen off the bushes, they were revealed to the world once more. © Unknown user / Reddit

• On Sunday, my 4-year-old pooped in the front yard next to the sidewalk, picked up his poop with a leaf, and threw it in the neighbor’s bushes. We’d just returned from a camping trip, maybe he wanted to extend the vacation? © PM_me_yur_pm / Reddit

• My son’s baseball team calls each other baked potatoes. I have no idea why, and my son won’t tell me. My hubs says it’s just going to get weirder. © Unknown user / Reddit

• We’re currently potty training our 2-year-old son. When he pooped in his training potty the first time, he stood up, turned around, admired his handiwork, and proudly proclaimed, “Zucchini!”
  No idea why. He knows what a zucchini is, and those 2 comically adorable turds did not resemble vegetables in any way. © NeverEnoughShelves / Reddit

• My son was about 2 years old, he found one of my bras and then wore it on his back. He wore it around the house, saying that he had a backpack. Hilarious. © mychem2468 / Reddit

• I was sound asleep, and at around 6 a.m., I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter’s face, inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, “I want to peel all your skin off.”
  The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week and was starting to peel. In my sleep-addled state, however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or what was going on. © psalm_** / Reddit

• When my little sister was 3, she flooded the upstairs bathroom. Water was leaking through the ceiling in our kitchen, so she opened up her Peppa Pig umbrella and stood under the leak, calling for my mom to tell her it was raining inside. © tiredlauren / Reddit

• I don’t have kids, but once, visiting some friends on a farm, my buddy’s youngest girl (5 or 6) at the time, was afraid of the chickens. I tried to explain to her that the chickens weren’t there to hurt us, but she wasn’t having it.
  So I’m sitting around the fire pit, looking at one of the chickens a few feet in front of me, when I feel hot breath in my ear as she whispers, “See. He’s always watching.”
  Horrific and hysterical all at once. © jonuggs / Reddit

Has your kid ever said something really surprising or out of context? Let us know in the comments!