The Story of The Teacher Who Adopted a Student and Proved You Can’t Choose Your Children
Even though starting a family is a pretty serious thing, some brave people decide to adopt children. “When you live with other people, there are good and bad days,” says Miriam, a teacher from Argentina who decided to become an adoptive mother and opened a blog in which she writes about the ups and downs she goes through. Like in a book, she tells her story and that of her student, who needed a mother and found a family.
Miriam and Néstor Marchese Coronel have been married since 2011 and decided to become adoptive parents together since she has a fertility problem and could have very risky pregnancies. “I decided that this body was not going to bring children into the world because that situation was not tolerable for me,” she mentioned. Soon the first two children who would turn the couple into mom and dad arrived.
They have been parents since 2018 after welcoming and caring for Ian and Lolo. It was a year of wait and paperwork, but they finally could meet for the first time to share a meal. “We left with a drawing of a house with the name of the four of us and a photo. Happy and afraid of the task we had to take on, to be a family by adoption,” Miriam explains in her blog.
Of course, it was not an easy task, but a challenge that both accepted without hesitation. Little by little, the four of them got to know each other. There were a couple of fights now and then, but that’s something quite natural. It was with love and a lot of patience that, together, they could get through each argument and come out stronger than ever.
“Sometimes they would get angry, and Ian would tell us that he was going to ask for another family, and I would explain to him that I also threatened my mother when I was young that I was going to leave, but that family stays together forever,” says Miriam. As it usually happens in the twists and turns of life, when everything seemed to fall into place bit by bit, Camila suddenly appeared. Maybe they didn’t know it yet, but the child would bring more happiness and change their lives once more.
Camila was a student of Miriam’s and suddenly started missing classes. Concerned, Miriam asked what had happened to her, and it was at that moment she discovered that the girl was waiting to be adopted. Without hesitation, Miriam went home and talked to her husband: she wanted Camila to be their fifth family member.
“Cami was 16 years old, and her situation with the family she had previously bonded with didn’t work out; it was very similar to what my other two children had gone through. I told Nestor that she was very good and wanted us to help her,” the mother explains.
So again, after much waiting and paperwork, Camila joined the Marchese Coronel family. But this time, it was no longer Miriam and Nestor who had to choose; they shared the responsibility with the rest of the family. The couple says the children’s support was essential, as Ian expressed the importance of adopting Cami because she was older, and it could be more difficult for her to find a family.
Soon the five of them shared the ups and downs of their decision, but naturally, they weathered the challenges with love and understanding. “Cami talks in the car about her real family, and I ask her if we are the fake ones. She can’t answer me. Today I am not hopeful, but we will have to trust in the process, in time, and we will always be here for her,” Miriam often says.
Miriam’s thought is valuable and essential because when it comes to adoption, you can’t think you’re “choosing” a child. Just as you don’t choose who your biological children are, you won’t choose adoptive ones either; when you go through a rough patch, you can’t just “return” them and think that’s the way out. The teaching she leaves us in her blog is that you must love, respect, and patience should always prevail above all.
Today, Miriam accompanies families in adoptive parenting workshops because she understands that there is no magic recipe to make things work for everyone. We all have problems, but we must face them. It is proven that the love of a child can blossom anywhere, regardless of external factors such as origin or age. The Marchese Coronel family is also living proof of this.
What is the most important value or rule to respect in your home? What do you think about adoption?