Tipping etiquette has always been a hot topic, especially when it comes to service that’s affected by noisy kids or stressful situations. While many people stick to the standard percentage, others believe tips should reflect both effort and attitude. In the age of social media, even small tipping decisions can spark big conversations.
One of our readers recently sent in a story that brought all of these elements together in one dramatic dinner outing.
Hi Bright Side,
I took my wife and kids out for a nice birthday dinner. Our baby cried a lot, and my twins, who are 7 and very hyperactive, ran around and spilled some food.
We stayed there for almost two hours. When the bill finally came and the waitress saw my 10% tip, she bluntly said, “Don’t bring kids next time. We’re not a free daycare!”
But I made her regret it, because I had been broadcasting the whole spectacle live on social media. Since it was my wife’s birthday, she had started a live stream on her Instagram, and we were recording the dinner party. So when the waitress came over, the live stream was still on, and everyone saw how rude she was.
As soon as she noticed the phone and realized she’d been recorded, her face went pale, and she immediately started apologizing. She knew she could get into trouble if her manager saw how she spoke to customers—especially with the restaurant’s reputation at stake.
In an effort to make amends, she offered complimentary cake for all of us.
I felt some justice was served. But not everyone agreed. Some people took her side, saying I had no right to disturb other diners with loud children, and that I should’ve tipped 25% given the extra effort she put in for my kids.
Did I under-tip for what she did?
—Brian
Thanks for sharing your story, Brian! Here are 4 suggestions that might help if you find yourself in a similar situation next time.
You tipped BEFORE she made the remark. As a former server I can attest what you did was rude, disrespectful, and uncalled for. Next time leave your kids with a sitter or go to Chuckee Cheeze where this kind of behavior is expected. 7 year olds are old enough to understand how to act in a restaurant. And running around, spilling food and making noise is NOT how to act. You are the type of customer restaurants dread.
Although her final remark was inappropriate, your family’s visit was long and demanding. A higher tip would’ve acknowledged the effort she put in, even if her attitude slipped at the end.
If you wanted to address her rudeness, writing to management later would’ve sent a clearer, more professional message.
Going out with a baby and energetic twins isn’t easy, especially on a special occasion. For future celebrations, call ahead to see if the restaurant is family-friendly. Some places even have kid zones or early family hours.
In this case, a more accommodating setting could’ve made the experience smoother for everyone — including the staff and nearby diners.
During the meal, when things got messy or loud, a brief light-hearted comment such as “We might need to leave a broom with the tip!” or a sincere “Thanks for bearing with us” can change how staff perceive the situation. It acknowledges the disruption without being defensive, and it invites empathy instead of frustration.
I have waitresses years I was a young waitress a waitress with young kids and big kids I always made sure to include the kids give them something to do why should a family have to leave their kids at home to go out to eat rand enjoy themselves should be able to do it as a family. I also have been broke and ok sometimes doesn't matter the situation it's nice to be able to go out what if can only do it once a year and can't afford that but do it as a memory for the kids or just something nice to do 10 percent is enough not everybody has to tip way above cause your good at your job. I had regulars who loved me and tipped me great I had regulars that ran me and didn't even tip 10 percent ever but you ain't got to be rude to people period no matter what
You had the advantage of the moment being recorded, which put pressure on the waitress—but it also gave you a chance to show grace under fire. Saying something like “That was a bit harsh, but we all have bad days” on the livestream would have highlighted her comment while keeping the moral high ground.
That kind of reaction earns more lasting respect than using the footage to embarrass her.
Steph is another Bright Side reader who recently shared her story with us. She chose not to pay for her stepson’s education, believing it’s not her responsibility. You can read her story here.
Brian you are ah. If you are taking your children for a celebration, keep them under control.
I don't blame the waitress for her snapping at you. Had I seen the video, especially the running around spilling food kids, I'd have called the manager to give that woman combat pay!
Not her circus, not her monkeys. You should have taken control.
