11 Stepparents Who Won Their Stepchildren’s Hearts Through Patience and Love

Parenting is difficult, especially if you’re someone who’s entering a family that was once whole. Stepparenting is challenging; there are big adjustments and clear boundaries that must not be crossed. But it’s different for every stepparent, and some people have shared bits of their journey. Let’s dive into their stories.

• Both my husband and bio mom wanted me to take on a “friend” role instead of a parent/authority figure. I had to fight and reason for it, but things couldn’t be better now.
  She considers me her parent and listens (as well as a preteen can), but is more comfortable talking to me about some stuff that she’d find embarrassing with her mom and Dad. It’s a nice benefit of being the stepparent, but it definitely took A LOT of effort to get to this point. Worth it IMO :) © Old-Flan-2086 / Reddit
• I joined their family when they were 3 and 7. They still see their dad every weekend. It’s been 9 years, and I still don’t feel like they’re my own.
  However, the older one has started calling her biological father by his first name (they call me by my first name), so I wonder if they’re trying to level us.
  It would definitely make it easier to love them if they forgot about their father’s programming against me. They pretty much hate me for a day or two after they come back “home”. In the meantime, I can still be their bestest grown-up/gaming friend and take them to swim team or a job interview and do parental stuff.
  I used to joke, “Oh, good, the teenager hates me as much as she hates her other dad.” Also, I do refer to them as “my kids” or “my daughter” and sometimes “my stepdaughter”, or to the wife, “our kids”. I just don’t love them like I can only guess you love your own children. © Unknown author / Reddit

• I have a 10-year-old stepson, and I love him to bits. Yes, parenting is hard, and it’s not always rainbows and sunshine. He is a good kid, but it didn’t start this way though. It took a lot of learning and patience within myself to become the stepparent I am today.
  There have been challenges with my SS and my significant other, but with the support of my SO and working together towards the same goal, we’ve got the best family unit.
  My SS and I have good times together; we share hobbies in common, enjoy activities like biking, adventuring, and hiking, and just be silly around one another. We even do things without my SO. However, I’ve been with my SS for 6 years and have no children of my own (yet). I love my family and my SS.
  What has helped the most is that my SO reminds me that we are a team. You should be teaming up together to work towards the same goal you both share, whilst experiencing the ups and downs of parenting together. © cuppincakes91 / Reddit
• Stepmom here. My first interaction with my stepdaughter was that she rolled her eyes and walked away. No introduction, just hostility towards me.
  Later, I found out that she’s staying with her bio mom. But she’s only paying attention to her boyfriend. It hurts to see how much my stepdaughter longs for her mom’s attention. So I gave the attention, care, and love I thought she needed. But all she does is walk out on me or ignore me.
  On Mother’s Day, I was shocked when she told me that I’m more of a mother to her than her bio Mom, and she’s thankful. Also said that she was sorry about her behavior, she just didn’t know how to react properly. Now, my stepdaughter has started opening up to me after a tough moment. I’m glad I’m becoming someone she can rely on. © Melissa K. / Bright Side

• My stepson was 6 when I met him. He did not have a good history with his father’s previous girlfriend, so my stepmom’s relationship prospects with him did not look good. But there are at least two instances where I believe I earned some serious points with my stepson.
  The first one was just after he turned seven and before I married his father. I took him to T-ball practice one Saturday, and instead of staying with me after it was over as we walked to the car, he decided to run off into the crowd. I ran after him and kept calling his name, but could not find him for about 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes seemed like hours.
  When I found him, he was with the park guard and crying. He got turned around and lost. I held my arms out, and he ran to me. I told him right then and there, as I hugged him, that I would NEVER leave him. No matter what. He could ALWAYS count on me.
  His response? “Even if you and Dad break up?” I responded, “Even if,” as I held him and walked him to the car. © Edie Millet / Quora

• I was making wedding plans, and we had gone out to the stores three Saturdays in a row. But this particular Saturday, he asked if we could stay home because he wanted to play his new computer game. I said yes, we would stay home.
  My mother called and wanted to go out to the store. He overheard this conversation. I told her that I promised my son we would stay home. She tried to change my mind.
  I stood firm and said, “Maybe next week, but I already promised, and I have to keep my promise.” He was standing in the kitchen with me, and his anxious look turned to a smile as he went to his room and turned the computer game on. I offered to make lunch for my Mom if she wanted to come over and look at wedding books or on the internet. She accepted.
  Today, my son is a freshman in college. He calls me for all tuition and finance questions. I’m glad he trusts me enough to call on his own. © Edie Millet / Quora

• [Edited] I’m a first-time stepmother, just diving into it. I met my fiancé two years ago, and he has a 5-year-old daughter. I’m 24, pretty young, and didn’t have kids of my own, so I was hesitant about dating someone with a child.
  But here’s the thing: stepparenting is all about having a deep love for your partner. You have to be ready to love their child, even when things get tough. Some nights are harder than others, and it’s not easy.
  My stepdaughter's mom is active in her life, and the custody schedule is set because she’s pregnant with another child. The problem is, she doesn’t like me at all. I’ve done nothing to her, but that tension sometimes makes things difficult for my fiancé and me. I don’t want to say there will be, but most likely, there might be some baby mama drama.
  If you have older stepkids, they might go through a phase where they treat you as an outsider and not a mother figure. Being that I helped raise my stepdaughter with my fiancé, and she’s seen me almost every day since she was 3 (for the past 2 years), I’m starting to grow with her, and she’s getting used to me. Now I can’t say that in the future she might not be like “You're not my mom” and this and that when I try to scold her. © Claudia Gonzalez / Quora

• When I married my husband, his 10-year-old son barely acknowledged me. He’d go to his room whenever I was around, clinging to the memory of his mom. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to win him over.
  But one Saturday, after weeks of hearing him complain that his favorite soccer jersey was too small, I decided to do something about it. I bought a new one in his size and left it on his bed with a simple note that said, “I thought you might like this.”
  The next morning, he walked into the kitchen, wearing that jersey. He didn’t say anything, but I saw him smile. It wasn’t a big thing, but in that moment, I knew something had shifted. It wasn’t much, but I’m glad he appreciated it. © Claire C. / Bright Side
• [Edited] Stepparenting is a weird in-between space. You’re a parent, but not really. You have authority, but not fully. And oh, do they sneak into your heart.
  I had no plan. I just winged it, but let’s call it a plan anyway. We got together when the youngest was 7 and her brother was 12, and now we’ve been together 15 years.
  Never married yet (maybe one day). I never wanted kids, but I was Dad’s girlfriend, not his wife, which was less threatening. Be yourself, and the kids will love you or hate you; they’ll do both.
  I’ve set rules for myself. The plan worked for my daughter, but my son? That’s a different story. He’s doing his own thing now.
  Years later, your stepkid will call you their stepmom. Maybe it’s when you’re looking at colleges, and they say, “I’m introducing you as my stepmom.” And you’ll cry, hug them, and realize you’re family now, no matter what. I wasn’t ready, but I’m forever grateful.
  Update: We broke up, but my stepdaughter, now in her mid-20s, still sends me Mother’s Day cards. She’s my girl now, and no one can change that. © Velvet Braham / Quora

• My stepdaughter had been cold to me ever since I moved in. She even told her father that I’d screamed at her for skipping her chores. It was a lie. “Forget about me if you can’t get along with my only child,” he said. I was heartbroken.
  So I called her biological mom. We’d barely spoken before, but when I explained what was happening, she sighed deeply and said, “She’s scared you’ll replace me.” Her mom helped me plan something small but meaningful—my stepdaughter’s upcoming birthday.
  That day, something finally shifted. I still remember her handing me a slice of cake and whispering, “I’m glad you’re here.” © Kyla R. / Bright Side
• I’ve been in my stepdaughter’s life since she was two. She’s now pushing 18. I can honestly say she’s never felt like she was my own. And we’re both OK with that.
  I made it a point all this time to let her form her relationship with me however she felt most comfortable, and that’s where we’re at. Her bio dad has been in her life this whole time. Her mother and I gave her a stepsister when she was 5.
  For those wondering, yes, it feels different with my daughter than it does with my stepdaughter. Not in a bad way...there is just something different emotionally. That said, when asked, I have two daughters. I only clarify if the discussion somehow leads to it. © di***facedkid / Reddit

Being a parent is challenging, but it gets more difficult when someone criticizes the way you parent your kids. One woman faces criticism from her SIL. Read her story on this link and share your parenting journey as well!