11 Times Kids Exposed Their Parents in the Most Awkward Ways

Kids have zero filters—and their parents are the ones who pay the price. These 11 little truth-tellers shouted things that left adults blushing, laughing, or wishing the floor would just open. If you are a parent, your primary goal is to remember one thing: no secrets are safe with toddlers.

• When my son was six, we were walking through LAX. He was complaining that I wouldn’t get him donuts (running late for our flight).
  I’m holding his hand and walking along, and all of a sudden he stops and starts screaming... “STOP IT, I DON’T KNOW YOU! SOMEBODY HELP ME, I DON’T KNOW THIS MAN!”
  I’m snarling at him under my breath, “Dude, you gotta stop that right now, you can’t say that, that’s not funny.” But oh no, he keeps it up until the cops show up...
  Missed flight... everyone staring... © PaleontologistINtree / Reddit

• Standing at the end of the personal care aisle at Target. A 4–5 yo kid riding in the cart stands up & yells, “My Mommy wears Band-Aids in her panties.” The Mom turns bright red and tries to hush the kid, but the kid just keeps going, saying, “That’s why I can’t watch cartoons right now, she needs more panty Band-Aids!” I’ve never walked away so fast or laughed so hard, that poor Mom! © HauntingReserve1986 / Reddit

• When I was trying on some clothes, my daughter, who must have been like 6 at the time, told me very honestly that the dress suited my body very well but that my “head was too old” for it. Did not buy the dress. © Car12touche11blue / Reddit

• My daughter, aged 3, in the echoey toilet at the pub with a big queue outside. “Mummy, why do you have hair all over the front of your bottom? WHY DO YOU HAVE HAIR ON YOUR FRONT BOTTOM? WILL I GET HAIR WHEN I’M BIGGER?” © Agnesperdita / Reddit

• When I was about 4, my mom had been trying to convince her mom for about a month that I could read, but my grandmother didn’t believe her and said I had just memorized the books she had been giving me to read.
  One day, they were shopping at Walmart with me in the cart, and my grandmother took the cart down the pharmacy aisle. While she’s picking out her stuff, I’m staring at the boxes, and I turn to her and, in my loudest voice, ask, “NANA, WHAT’S A HEMMA-HOID???” My grandmother immediately turns to my mom and says, “Well, that baby CAN read!” © just-another-jester / Reddit

• Cashier: “Do you want a receipt?” Little kid (maybe 6, loudly): “Yes, because Daddy always loses the receipt and then he gets mad and Mommy says, ’Well, maybe don’t be stupid next time.’” The cashier had to bite her lip, and the dad just froze like a statue. © Drev1ore / Reddit

• We waited a few months to tell my boys they were getting a little sister. My wife travels for work and happened to return from a trip to the UK right before we thought it was far enough along to tell them.
  He went to school the next day (he was 5, I think) and told all his teachers, “Mommy went to England and came home with a baby in her belly.”
  Yea, that was an awkward pickup day explaining to the receptionist, his teacher, his coach, etc., why the timing was what it was. © Cczaphod / Reddit

• Thirty-five years ago, I was in the waiting room with other parents at my daughter’s daycare. Each child was brought out separately by a staff member. Not a big deal.
  My five-year-old daughter skipped into the room. She looked at the sea of faces until her eyes met mine. I’ll never forget the big smile on her face that day. My child ran to me, tightly hugged my leg, and tried to whisper, “MOM! ARE YOU STILL HAVING YOUR PERIOD?”
  But her whispering skills hadn’t quite developed, and every damn person in the room looked at their feet and tried not to laugh. © dedayyt / Reddit

• Years ago, I was in a dressing room and overheard a mom and her little (toddler?) boy in another stall.
  He asked her why her belly was so big, and in a very patiently exasperated voice, she said, “My belly is so big because there’s a baby in it, remember?”
  “Mom? Do you have a baby in your b**t, too?”
  I don’t even have a word for the sound she made. © Double_Station3984 / Reddit

• I have two daughters, 4 years apart. When the younger one got fussy, I used to be able to calm her by picking her up and jostling her (gently) from side to side to get her laughing.
  Cut to a dinner party with people I don’t know very well, and the younger girl falls down and starts crying, whereupon Daughter the elder runs up to me and says, “Daddy, Daddy! Shake the baby until she stops crying!” © Fun-Lengthiness-7493 / Reddit

• Back when I worked at a public library, I told a little girl I liked her pretty dress. She twirled around in it and said, very loudly, “My mommy stole it from Target!” Her very embarrassed mommy said, “I said it was a steal! I got it for a really good price!” © AmphibianNo1066 / Reddit

Children may leave us red-faced with their honesty, but they also remind us that life is rarely predictable. Just as their words can change the mood of a room, the simple actions of strangers can change the course of a day—and sometimes, even more than that: 10 People Who Were Caring Enough to Share Their Kind Heart With a Stranger