15+ People Who Could Become Champions in the Laziness Competition

Some people are ready to spend time on cleaning and tidying every single day. They dream of a perfect home and always want to do everything “according to the list.” But there are also those who have mastered the art of relaxation and enjoy every moment without getting obsessed with little things.

And in the bonus section, you’ll find out that there are those who don’t even bother much during renovations.

• My girlfriend’s a lazy bum. She hates doing the dishes. I’m used to her taking disposable ones and eating out of them. Okay, it’s convenient.
  But the other day, I was stunned when I saw her wash a plastic plate. All because they had run out, and it was lazier to go to the shop to buy new ones than to wash them. © Overheard / Ideer
• I have to always fight with my kids about dirty dishes. But for a week now I’ve been coming home from work and the plates are clean. At first, I thought that the kids don’t eat, but the pots seem to be getting empty.
  One day I heard my elder son rattling dishes. I entered the kitchen, and there he was shoving a plate into a plastic bag and putting food on top. So, when he finishes eating, he just takes the bag off and throws it away. That’s why the dishes are clean.
• I discovered the secret to constant cleaning this morning. And now, after many hours of tidying up, I can sit down and describe it. This secret lies in an ordinary, powerful, cool white light bulb.
  After screwing it in and switching it on for the first time, the first thing you see is dust on the floor, and you hoover it up. Then you see that the hoover didn’t suck everything up, so you wash the floor. Then you notice the dust on your desk, computer, shelves and windowsill that you haven’t noticed before, but now it’s carefully illuminated by the light bulb. That’s how laziness gets fixed. © drumaha / Pikabu

• A dialogue between a neighbor and her friend:
  — We spilled acid in the middle of the room, and it burned a big hole in the flooring. Surely, the whole flooring in the room has to be replaced. But my husband was saving money for a boat motor and suggested to carefully replace only the burned piece.
  I was surprised because the flooring is old, you can’t buy a new piece of the flooring like this. But he assured me that he knew where to get the same one. Soon, when I came home from work, I saw the patch. Surprisingly, the flooring in it was exactly the same as ours.
  — Did you find out where he got it?
  — Yes, I did.
  — Did he tell you?
  — No. I was doing a general cleaning, moved the sofa and found it. © panzermarder / Pikabu
• My parents are literally the laziest people I’ve ever met. Growing up, things were a lot worse than they had to be.
  After moving out, I realized a lot of their bad habits had been instilled in me and my siblings. So I guess my work ethic came from wanting a way more quality life. I get commended all the time for my hard work, but it really stems from fear of returning to that lifestyle. © Hexavalence / Reddit
• The walls in the house have been washed, the car has been cleaned inside and outside, a 5-course dinner has been cooked, 4 paintings are being painted at once and a dress is being made for my niece. I called all my friends and relatives, even fifth cousins, combed the cat 3 times (the cat is a little indignant) and sorted out all the folders on the computer and phone. Books have been alphabetized on all shelves.
  I have term exams. And I’m ready to do anything to avoid studying philosophy. © Overheard / Ideer

• I gave my mum a dishwasher for her anniversary. It’s been standing on the balcony for 3 years. Mum doesn’t even use it.
  She says, “I’m lazy. I’ll just rinse the dishes. But it’s a good stand for potted plants.” © mamon4ik / Pikabu
• In my school years I lived with my grandmother, she was a responsible person and always got up early, prepared breakfast, persuaded me to wake me up for half an hour and sent me to school. When as an adult I started to live alone, I was always late. After all, the feeling that everything will be fine anyway, and I will be on time, remained in my brain even after decades.
  Now I am not late only because my wife wakes me up in the morning. © Kopxu / Pikabu
• To be fair, I’ve bought peeled potatoes before after a long shift at work. By the time I’m done prepping and cooking for hundreds of people every day, the last thing I want to do is go home and prep and cook dinner too, but we’ve got to eat at home, so this is the easy and lazy option for dinner. © nolongerthe***ed1 / Reddit
• My husband pisses me off so much for leaving his socks everywhere that as a little revenge, I stopped sorting them into pairs after washing. I just pile this bunch into the drawer.
  But I underestimated his laziness. 2 weeks of morning grumbling led to a new ritual: every morning he grabs the first 2 clean socks that are remotely similar in color, says in a solemn tone, “I name you a pair!” and puts them on. © Overheard / Ideer

• I regularly use cleaning services after moving into a new place. I just felt sick from the idea that I’d have to clean a 3-bedroom place myself. I paid a lot, but for this amount of money I got 3 women who came and cleaned everything to perfection. You could even eat off the floor.
  My husband grumbled at first, but then appreciated it, because it was usually his job to wash the floors and dust. Now, when we are too lazy to clean, we call this trusted phone number. I can’t say that we pay a lot for light cleaning. I earn that much per hour, so what’s the point of wasting precious time?
  Yeah, I’m a terrible housekeeper. Should I be perfect? That’s not the reason why my husband loves me. © Miranda Bush / ADME
• I make such a mess at home, it’s unbelievable. There is stuff on the ironing board, the sofa and the chairs. There are dirty dishes in the sink. When someone calls that they are coming to visit, I start to clean my place with the lightning speed. I’m always afraid to show what I’m really like, that people will find out that I am a slob.
  This went on until my boyfriend came to visit and rescued my cat from the wardrobe where she got trapped with a pile of my clothes. The only thing he could say was, “It’s going to be hard for 2 lazy people to live together.” © Overheard / Ideer
• In addition to the cat and the fish, Vincent has been living in our family for a year now. I call the baseboard like this, which couldn’t find its place in our house. Vincent wanted to live next to the bed, but, alas, he is doomed to stand against the wall. Unfortunately, my beloved husband hasn’t been able to break this vicious circle for a year, because another man in the house should know his place. © Gilyasha / Pikabu

• Ever since I was a kid, I’d pretend I was on a game show. Best room cleaner! Look at the efficiency as she mops! Zero streaks on that window! Amazing multitasking!
  I still find myself thinking this sometimes. © jackyoo8 / Reddit
• Cooking is not a problem for me, sometimes I even love it. Gardening is my favorite thing to do. I can do even small repairs. But cleaning — it is a torment for me, although my house is not really messy. It’s just not my thing.
  I’m even thinking of hiring some decent local woman for cleaning. And if she tells everyone in the village what a lazy woman I am, I don’t care. It’s still better than cleaning myself. © Freja / ADME
• To understand how lazy I am, you need to know this: I have a laptop on my desk for work, a laptop for lying in bed and a small netbook for watching videos while eating. I don’t regret a single thing. © sadboy141009 / Pikabu
• My husband makes me run in the mornings. I have to leave at 5 a.m. But I’m so lazy to do that. And it’s useless to argue!
  So, I just take my phone, sit down a couple of floors down in a jogging suit and hang out on the phone. Once a man, also dressed for jogging, passed by, looked at me and sat down the floor below. Apparently, I’m not the only one forced to run in the morning. © Overheard / Ideer

Bonus: “The former owner didn’t even bother to paint the wall properly. There was a wardrobe in this corner.”

And here’s a woman’s story whose mother-in-law wants to charge her for cleaning. Check it out.