15 Single Fathers Reveal What Parenthood Really Feels Like

Being a single dad is living with your heart torn between fear and love. It is going to bed wondering if you are doing things right, and waking up with little hands holding you like you are all that is right. In this article we gather real testimonies of fathers facing parenthood alone. Raw, touching stories, sometimes painful, sometimes full of light. Because when there is no one else, they are there: inventing recipes, calming fevers, laughing loudly... and crying silently too.

“When your little girl asks you to paint her nails, there’s only one thing to say.”

• My daughter just turned three. My wife left us over a year ago. I don’t want her to look unkempt when we go out, so I try to make her look as nice as possible, but I have such a hard time styling her hair. I wish there were local classes for that kind of thing. © Unknown author / Reddit
• My boss is a single father of three girls. I once asked him why he hired me as a live-in nanny when he had never even had a regular nanny before. He told me that he made the decision after his oldest daughter, who was only ten and not yet getting her period, was causing middle school drama. He realized that he had no idea how to handle it without being completely insensitive to her feelings. He knew that dealing with girl drama was completely out of his abilities because he had never had to deal with it before and didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. He also knew that all three of his daughters would need someone like that. © sjdhagfk09 / Reddit

“I met my 13-year-old daughter for the first time six months ago. Today, I received my first Father’s Day card. My heart has never felt so full!”

• I received a letter from the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth when my daughter was 12. They requested that she take the SATs, which she aced. Her scores were above average for seniors intent on attending college. So, I went back to college and took her with me. She continued with her regular schooling. They were well prepared for students like her. © Rvrsurfer / Reddit
• I am a registered lifetime member of the Girl Scouts and have been approved as a helper parent. This means that I have undergone the necessary background checks. My daughter's troop is excellent. They're all really nice, and we get on well. However, when I took my daughter to a district-wide campout last year, it was a different matter entirely. My daughter asked me to go, so I agreed. I was one of two dads, and we were placed as far away from the other campers as possible. It took me 10–15 minutes to walk to my daughter's campsite. The tag-along mums slept in the cabins. I didn't expect that, but I figured that I would at least be able to camp outside the cabin. The attitude of the other volunteers and leaders was clearly that my presence was tolerated, but not welcomed. Despite helping out in the kitchen and making lunch for the campers, virtually nobody acknowledged my presence or spoke to me all day. This was OK, as I was there for my daughter, but there was no need to make me feel unwelcome just for trying to get involved. I've had a similar experience at birthday parties and so on, where I don't know the parents beforehand. It's usually the mums who take the kids, and while I've never been made to feel explicitly unwelcome, it's kind of clear that I'm the odd one out. © TehFuriousOne / Reddit

“This is his very first fish! I love being a dad. I’m just overwhelmed with emotion right now and want to share my happiness with the world.”

• As a single guy, it took me a long time to learn this, but it seems to be generally true with women. Men are socialized to be active problem solvers, not necessarily listeners. I’m thirty now, and I’ve certainly made women I was trying to help or comfort more irritated by constantly offering solutions to their problems. What I learned to do is change my mindset. I really like being helpful, so when a female friend or relative is upset, I listen. I realized that the real problem I’m trying to solve is her being upset. I can solve that by being a patient, active listener. Once she’s finished, if she wants my opinion, she’ll usually ask for it directly. Otherwise, I’ll ask, “Would you like my opinion or suggestion, or did you just need to vent?” I then do as she requests. © 19captain91 / Reddit
• My daughter was a young teenager. I was dating someone at the time, but she encouraged me to take my daughter to get pedicures. Initially, I was against the idea, but my daughter wanted me to go with her. So I did. Now, it’s something we do together. She picks out the color. I like to think that I’ve shown her that spending time with her and doing what she wants is what’s most important. © SpiritOne / Reddit

“Nine months after the divorce, I have primary custody, and I feel unstoppable.”

• My daughter needed a diaper change, but there was no changing table in the men’s room. I rushed into the women’s, hoping no one would notice. Halfway through, I heard a woman: "What do you think you’re doing? I turned, and she almost yelled: “You forgot her blanket!” Then she handed it to me with a smile. “You’re doing your best. That’s what matters.” I just nodded, too surprised to speak.
• My 12-year-old daughter got her period during her first ballet class. She called me from the locker room, crying, confused, and scared. I rushed over, my heart pounding. When I arrived, however, the teacher frowned and snapped, “Why are you here? Why didn’t her mother come?” I paused, steadying my voice. “She doesn’t have her mom. She has me.” Later, in the car, she reached for my hand and whispered, “Thanks for coming, Dad.” I just smiled and held her hand a little tighter.

“I had a manicure/pedicure day with my daughter. Highly recommended!”

• My son had to build a volcano for his science class. I work long shifts and barely sleep, but he was so excited that I couldn’t say no. We stayed up past midnight with glue, paint, and a mess that I knew no one would clean up for me. The next morning, the volcano collapsed on the kitchen table. He looked at me, heartbroken. “I can skip school,” he whispered. Instead, I called in late to work—something I never do—and we built another one. This time, it was smaller. Simpler. Stronger. At school, his teacher knelt beside him and said, “This is great! Did your mom help you?” He looked at her and said, “No, just my dad. He’s kind of awesome.” I don’t think I’ve ever been more tired. Or more proud.
• I’m going through a lot right now. The whole female puberty thing, makeup, and general female body maintenance has always confused me. I try to learn what I can, but I don’t know what issues, concerns, and problems she will actually face as a girl versus what is made up to boost sales or views. I want her to be informed and aware, but I don’t want to scare her. © whattocallmyself / Reddit

These stories are not just about fathers raising children. They are about men who learn to love without reservation, to make mistakes and to get up a thousand times for someone else. And, even though there is no rest and the world sometimes doesn’t see them, every gesture, every word and every hug from their children reminds them that they are doing something immense. If you felt something when you read this, perhaps this other article, which gathers equally powerful confessions, will also reach you.