A Woman Didn’t Allow Her Second Husband to Punish Her Daughter, and He Decided to Take Revenge on Them All

year ago

Recently, a man asked online users about whether he had done the right thing by stopping performing his parental responsibilities. This decision was caused by the following situation: his wife told him that since he is not a biological father of her children (from the first marriage), he doesn’t get a say in any punishment even if they did something bad. Here is the story told by himself.

The man’s story

My wife and I have been married for about 4 years. She brought 3 kids from previous relationships into the marriage while I have none. They moved into my house after the marriage because I live in a better school district. Obviously we’ve had our ups and downs but overall it’s been good until a couple of weeks ago...

I woke up and found a large dent running down the entire passenger side of my car. The dent is about a hand wide, starts at the front fender, and runs down all the way to the rear tire. I was furious and thought someone side swept my car as it was parked on the street.

I checked our doorbell camera to see if it recorded anything and was surprised to see our 16-year-old daughter sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and driving off in my car. She later returned hours later stumbling into the house. Outside those 2 events, the doorbell camera didn’t record anything else but a couple of passing cars that didn’t come close to mine.

I angrily showed my wife the recording and told her our daughter needs to be punished, but she said that she would talk to her. I argued that talk isn’t enough which led us into an argument. My wife argued that the new family dynamic has been hard on the kids while I argued that it doesn’t excuse the damage done to my car.

I wanted her to agree to ground our daughter from social media and make her get a job to pay for the damage. We argued for hours until she said I don’t get a say in any punishment because I’m not her father. That ended the argument, and I walked off. Since then, I’ve checked out of any parental duties. I’ve been an adult and still make sure the kids are safe and fed, but I haven’t done anything a father would do.

They had doctor’s appointments last week for their checkups because they play sports in school and I refused to drive them causing my wife to have to take off work. They start school next week, and I’ve dropped them off ever since they moved in, but I told my wife she’ll have to do it this year. She argued she can’t because of her work schedule, and I answered a mother would figure it out. She called me a child and to grow up.

I think since I’m not the father, I don’t have to take on the responsibilities of one, but obviously she disagrees. Am I in the wrong here?

Update

I’m not ignoring the kids and I still talk to them daily. I just don’t do or make any parental decisions like I stated above. Also, the other day our son asked me if he should play basketball or football and I told him to go ask his mother. © RealisticPirate5663 / Reddit

Internet users’ comments

This is a major red flag on the wife’s part. No only is she not punishing their daughter, but she is teaching her her poor decisions do not have consequences. © Ezyo1000 / Reddit
If I was told I have no say in disciplining/correcting the children that are living in my house and came with my spouse, I’d check out too. © ***pot718 / Reddit

As soon as I read what the daughter did and what the wife’s response was, I immediately thought okay, if she doesn’t want you to punish her as a parent, then just punish her as an adult and report her crime. You literally have camera evidence of her stealing your car and bringing it back damaged. If you’re “not allowed” to parent her, then treat her just like any other adult who has had their property stolen and call the cops.
It’s time to leave your wife. If you aren’t allowed to participate as a parent, none of them have any respect for you, and it will only get worse as time goes by. © Personal-Tourist3064 / Reddit
These are all really great points. How old are the kids? You may need to seriously rethink everything if your wife doesn’t acknowledge you have any parental role/authority in your own home. © CasperGGGD / Reddit

If the mom truly loved her kid, she’d punish her. Sometimes tough love and seeing the reality will set a kid straight. © Low_Chocolate_6580 / Reddit
I feel like you can’t even really get into the attitude/perspective of the issues. “Red flag” doesn’t even cut it, it’s more like several miles of red bunting. Please leave. © bbygroot27 / Reddit

Your wife can’t pick and choose what fatherly duties you can do. Either you get to stand in the role fully or not at all. And if it’s the latter then kick her and her unruly children out. © LetPrior7218 / Reddit

And this is a story of a husband who sacrificed his entire life to care for a wife in a vegetative state.