One of our readers lives a quiet vegan lifestyle—never preaching, never pressuring, simply choosing what feels right for her. So when she planned a birthday dinner with dishes for everyone, she thought it would be a night of celebration. Instead, the group chat took an unexpected turn. Her response? Subtle, but powerful.
Why are you planning your own 30th birthday party? Did you give friends a chance to create a fun moment for you, or did you rush and try to plan your own thing? If you are hosting your own party, you pay. Friends bring bday gifts. The fact you had to have your own party says a lot. Either way friends aren’t great friends. And a 30 year old planning their own party is sad. You’re not 8 years old 🫤
It sounds to me more like she just asked if they all wanted to go out for her bday casually, less like a planned party with gifts and such, but I could be wrong
Hmm.. so you don't ever expect to plan a birthday party in life, otherwise it says something negative about you then. And the rest of humanity who wants a themed party or who wants a specific experience is somehow problematic (as you seem to be implying). I feel your comment speaks volumes about you moreso than the original poster.
Sounds like you didn't invite any friends at all. A friend would never have complained about where you wanted to eat ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. And the nerve to say you should even pay for it all. I'm sorry it turned out that way for you but it sounds like you discovered a new great place to enjoy meals when you do find some friends.
Vegans are the reason vegans have a bad name. You're like Christians - stop pushing your agenda on others.
Did you not read that she booked a restaurant that had both vegan and non vegan meals? Non-vegan means they could get meat or whatever they wanted. It's not vegans that are pushing anything. People automatically jump to conclusions when they see vegan or hear it. I think it's great that she canceled it and did something for herself.
Manuel, you are as bad as her so called friends. Got to always blame other people for not thinking like them. Clueless,she chose a restaurant to cater to everyone and you blame her for trying to force vegan on everyone. Get a clue!!
It was her birthday so if you don't like the menu kindly decline the invite and keep you comments to yourself
Ew.. you are just like the nasty "friends" in the story.. clearly no willingness to try to comprehend anything, just jumping to angry conclusions.
“Hi Bright Side!
For my 30th birthday, I booked a small, casual restaurant — nothing fancy, just a spot with a mix of vegan and non-vegan options so everyone could enjoy themselves. I double-checked the menu to make sure no one would feel left out.
Then the group chat started. First came the jokes about ‘rabbit food.’ Then the question: ‘Do we all have to order vegan just because it’s your birthday?’ I reminded them they could eat whatever they wanted. But then someone said, ‘If you’re making us adjust for you, maybe you should cover the bill.’ And a couple of others agreed.
That was it. I canceled.
Instead, I booked myself a table at the fanciest steakhouse in town. Yes, a steakhouse. They also happened to have an incredible vegan tasting menu — something I’d always wanted to try but never had an excuse to splurge on.
Course after course arrived, plated like art, every bite better than the last. I sat there smiling, knowing that what was supposed to be a group dinner had turned into something better: a celebration just for me.
Best 30th I could’ve imagined.”
From managing a guest list that mixes friend groups, to juggling dietary needs, and finding a spot that feels fun but affordable, birthday dinners often turn into logistical marathons. And at the center of it all? The check.
Do you split it evenly? Should the birthday person pay? Or do guests cover their own meals—and the guest of honor’s too?
There’s no universal rule, and that’s where tension brews. Add in cocktails, wildly different orders, or a forgotten Venmo, and things can get awkward fast.
Here’s the truth: hosting a birthday dinner at a restaurant isn’t much different from throwing a party at home. The problem is that restaurants introduce unspoken expectations and messy money moments that can sour the celebration.
My bff is vegan and she invited us at some vegan restaurant and it was delicious, it just shows once again what ignorance and ignorant people look like
Let’s be real: there’s no official rulebook for birthday dinners. But here’s the truth—if you’re the one planning it, you’ve gotta be upfront. Tell your friends what they’re in for, money-wise, before the group chat explodes.
Treat yourself to a solo celebration (no Venmo requests required).
Because honestly, birthdays should feel fun—not like an accounting exam. If your dream is a big sparkly dinner, live it up. But if peace, no bill-splitting drama, and a quiet night out sound like bliss, that counts as celebrating too.
Maybe it’s time for the anti—birthday dinner. Less stress, more actual joy.
Because the best birthday is the one that actually feels like yours.
I kinda feel you should make new friends. Not nice things to say for a friends Bday. Happy you turned your Bday into a day for you.
Nothing say I'm a vegan like being an attention seeker
The OPs friends were selfish and thoughtless. She made it clear there were great vegan and non-vegan choices. When it's their birthdays, they each get to choose the venue.
It should always be made clear before anyone arrives at the restaurant that the meal is DUTCH TREAT and everyone is responsible for his/her entire bill including an acceptable tip. The server or servers should be informed BEFORE drinks or appetizers are ordered that it is a Dutch Treat meal with separate tickets. This leaves zero room for misunderstanding, bill dumping, or hurt feelings over what is or is not fair.
These are your "friends"? Friendship isn't what it used to be! What a sad story. I hope by next year you can find REAL friends.
I stopped celebrating birthdays out a long time ago. Even my son didn't want parties. He rather I spend the money on fun stuff we can both do that day, instead of trying to impress snobs.
