There comes a time in life when you might wonder if your family is taking advantage of you. It could be something small, as a word said out of context, or it could be a massive sign of disrespect. In that case, you need to decide how you’re going to proceed. One of our readers shared her experience.
Dear Bright Side,
When we were young, my sister and I were very close, and that didn’t change over the years, or at least that was what I thought. So when she had kids and asked me to babysit them, there was no doubt in my mind, I immediately agreed.
So I’ve been my sister’s free babysitter for the last 5 years and I never second-guessed my decision. I love the kids and want to spend as much time with them as I can. So every weekend or any time my sister called and said there was an emergency, I was there.
Last week, my sister asked me to watch the kids for 2 weeks while she went on vacation to Hawaii with her husband. She said that their anniversary was coming up, and her husband wanted to treat her with a special trip, so of course I agreed.
But while watching the kids yesterday, I overheard my sister and her husband talking. I gasped when she started gasping and told her husband, “Anyway, my sister has always done what I told her to. She’s like a little lapdog that will do anything to get my affection, even though I feel nothing for her.”
I would be very hurt and angry if I heard that. I hope you cut ties with your sister and move on with your own life and let your sister find someone else to take a loan of just like she did you. After all there is no love lost on her part she doesn't know what it is or she wouldn't have treated you that way.
But she didn’t stop there. She continued with, “I think she’s taking care of the kids to compensate for her terrible love life.” I was shocked and hurt. I couldn’t believe that my sister saw me like that or that she would say such cruel things about me.
So I stepped out and told my sister that if she saw me as such a burden, she could find someone else to look after her kids while she’s in Hawaii. I left after that, but I’ve been receiving constant calls and messages from her saying she would start compensating me if I just stuck to the plan.
So Bright Side, what is your opinion? Should I look after my sister’s kids and demand compensation? Or should I let her sort this issue out on her own?
Regards,
April K.
I would definitely stop being a doormat. I understand you love the children, but finding out she was using you is a very good reason to refuse to look after them whilst she does whatever she wants.
I'd cut all ties with her, since she's taking it for granted that you'll always be there at their beck and call.
I wouldn’t watch the kids for two weeks. Even if she agrees to pay you after they return, you’ll never see the money. She’ll change her mind or make some excuse like they can’t afford it. I’m sorry you have such a horrible manipulating entitled POS for a sister. Maybe babysit once a month just to see the kids but don’t back down.
Wow your sister really showed you who she is. And your brother in law didn't call her out on her cruelty. Those poor kids. Shame on her and her husband. Enjoy your free time. I would not baby sit again even if she paid you. You can never unhear what she said.
as for me i would tell her where she could go and it would not be hawaii. i would never watch her kids again, not even for all the tea in china.
She's on her own. Cold and callous are her new names. Unfortunately, the precious children will be caught in the middle of all this.
I wouldn't babysit anymore she was taking advantage of you she sounds like a real b****
Yeah I wouldn't watch them again ever. She used you and would continue if you had not caught her. Go low contact and seek therapy. No contact is better. .
Its her sister who need therapy. 😆 😆
Just don't do it your sister is a damn snake. Go on with your life and use your free time to enjoy your self. I would go no contact I sure wouldn't give my time and peace to someone that feels nothing for me. Let her and her husband figure it out their kids are not your responsibility.Please don't stoop to your sister level by being petty don't allow anyone to bring you down to their level. Don't listen to some of these comments about revenge don't be one of them.
Your right. Try see the kids on birthdays and Christmas. But no more babysitting. G. Revenge is bittersweet
I agree see the kids on birthdays and holidays. Let them know that you love them .
Absolutely not... She can now navigate her way around finding and trusting strangers to look after her kids. She will find out just how hard it is and how expensive it will be. Do not engage in any messages or calls, you heard what she said and she dont give 2 sh!ts about you. You're there for her convenience not because she loves having her kids aunty around
I personally wouldn't do it but the kids might suffer if she doesn't. If you decide to help get paid then stop helping. I understand you love the kids just know she will weponize them. She will use guilt and anger so be prepared.
I had a SIL do this to me. Never have seen or talked to my niece since she was in 3 great she is now 23.
3rd grade.
WHY does EVERYONE feel the need to CORRECT spelling mistakes? WE KNOW WHAT THEY MEANT.
Its not the kids fault. She can and should see them. But No No babysitting.
does door mat come mind
No, actually loving sister, that was LIED TO. Most sisters aren't suspecting of their siblings, until they have been given cause. It just goes to show what A MANIPULATIVE BITCH, the sister is
I like to know where the girls parents or grandparents are. And what there view on this are. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🫡
Surprisingly, it doesn't mention the parents AT ALL. Usually the parents ALSO try to guilt the good child, into "helping" for the sake of family. Maybe they live too far away? Now, you've got me wondering.
Wow. Your sister has shown you who she is. I would go no contact and just be DONE with her disrespect and nonsense. If her husband is ok with this shame on him as well.
WHY go back to being her little lap dog??? do you have so little respect for yourself that after you HEARD what she said about you and made fun of you to her husband--who obviously agreed as he didn't set her straight--that you would go back to being her unpaid servant? You need to develop a social life, and interests, and friends that ddon't involve your sister. Go DO SOMETHING -- take classes, join a gym, volunteer at a hospital or care home -- ANYTHING that does not involve your sister and her family...and HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER SAYING SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU? FEELS NOTHING FOR YOU? she is USING you for her convenience, comfort and benefit....STOP LETTING HER USE YOU.....
DONT DO IT just because she offers to stay doesn't mean her opinion of you has changed just means you will still do whatever she says no matter what
Ask standard payment for childcare+20%, and tell her to apologize to you in front of all family. If she refuse, say "do you want to put their fate in the hand of stranger ?" Make her worried endlessly at her vacation. ☠️☠️
No brainer, say you'll do it, then at the last minute, just don't ! Lol.. good dark, take yourself off somewhere for a break, even just a hotel for a couple of nights... switch off your phone and ignore her. That'll show her haha 😄
EXACTLY. If she DOES IT, SHE REALLY IS A LAP DOG. SHE NEEDS TO GROW A SPINE, AND A BIG FOOT, TO STICK UP HER SISTER'S ASS. BABYSITTING NOW, WILL CEMENT HER ROLE, AS THE FAMILY JOKE.
Let her fend for herself. She needs to learn to treat people with respect. She's not the only one with feelings.
Dear April,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
Don’t go back, not even for money, because the issue here isn’t compensation, it’s contempt. You didn’t overhear a moment of stress or a badly worded joke. You overheard a long-held belief that your sister sees your loyalty, availability, and love as weaknesses she can exploit.
If you stay now, even with pay, you reinforce exactly what she said about you, that she can demean you privately and still rely on you publicly. Walking away mid-plan was the right move because it finally disrupted a dynamic that’s been one-sided for five years.
Let her handle childcare on her own, not to punish the kids, but to force a boundary that should have existed long ago.
If you ever choose to help again in the future, it should only be after a genuine apology that acknowledges what she said, not excuses it. And after you redefine your role as an aunt, not an unpaid on-call employee desperate for approval.
April never expected to hear those things coming from her sister, but now that she did, she needed to decide if she was willing to lose the relationship with her sister and the kids because of it.
She isn’t the only one with family struggles, though. Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. You can read the full story here: I Chose to Be Childfree, but Suddenly Became a Mom—And Now I’m Trapped.
uh no. have self respect
Do NOT go back. She needs to know that you respect yourself even if she doesn't. What your sister said was not a little jest it was what she herself believes and that belief DOES NOT respect you as a person or as her sister. There is no love there on her side just usage, even if she did agree to compensate you, she can never take her disparagement back.
